MALAYSIA, 28 June 2011 – In a move that is widely perceived to be another step towards world domination, popular community blawg, LoyarBurok, launched its new skin at a nearby street mamak a few hours ago. The event, held in secret (for fear of arrests), saw thousands wearing Lord Bobo’s perceived image – the one with his fist raised – on their biceps.


Themed “New Skin, Same Awesome Flesh, We Love Yellow And What Are You Going To Do About It”, the crowd thronged around each other attempting to listen to influential Bobo’s voice in their heads. Some of them were seen holding their hands to their ears as if music was being spun in a club. Others were pumping their fingers in the air. Yet others were planking.

All of them sought to hear Bobo’s launch speech for 2011.

“I love you alllllllllllll!! Are you enjoying yourself?? Let’s rock Malaysia!! Because it’s fun!! Come on, clap your hands now…”, some were said to have heard Bobo say.


A LoyarBurokker, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that she is still baffled by Bobo’s continuing experiment to mind-control and mind-boggle people into writing for the blawg. She wants to leave but can’t stop writing for LB, and needed to check herself into a clinic to cure her addiction.

(LB: She could not be reached for further clarification after this comment was made.)

Marcus van Geyzel is one of the minions who helps run the blawg through its editorial team “MastHead”. In a private interview later, Marcus said that the new look ala magazine style was to allow more of LB’s content to be featured prominently, and for a longer time.

“Based on reader feedback, the previous two-column, single section format meant that articles would be pushed down as soon as a new one was published, and as the blawg grew beyond our capacity to keep up, LB needed a layout that could best present this content. We listened to the people who wanted better from us.”

“Now LB has greater functionality and options for readers to play around with. The blawg grows by the day with more contributors and fresh perspectives not available anywhere else that LB might be banned soon before earth is burnt by the sun,” he said.

Hasbeemasputra Abu Bakar, coordinator of SUARAM – a leading human rights organisation – was ecstatic with the new look. A LoyarBurokker himself and hoping he will not be misquoted again, Hasbee said that LB keeps him grounded in many ways and LoyarBurokkers remind him there are good things in life – and good people.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen an evolving mass of diverse peoples working with purpose and poise. There are arguments and disagreements over ways and means, but never over the destination – a better Malaysia for all. I can’t live without LB!”

Changing the landscape

Has LB made a difference in delivering cutting-edge commentary on social issues? Lawyer Seira Sacha who leads LoyarButik – the lifestyle and merchandising arm of the blawg – thinks so.

“We are proud that LB has, and continues to, offer a platform for new writers. The platform to air views on social issues affecting a community or the entire nation should not just be exclusive to prominent figures, or established writers.”

“There will be hits and misses but LB lets the rakyat have their say. Many LoyarBurokkers who were previously unknown have gone on to establish themselves as prolific writers, and are in fact much sought after. They regularly write for and are paid by other media channels,” she said.

Hoping that LoyarBurokkers will not forget their roots, another LoyarBurokker who maintains a whip for discipline, said that many LoyarBurokkers contribute in different ways to other groups and organisations. Citing a recent example of a meeting regarding a civil society education initiative, she noted that more than 80% who attended the gathering were LoyarBurokkers (or for easy reference, “the monkeys”).

“Yes. There are many LoyarBurokkers almost at every corner of the universe. LB believes in freedom of speech, and is arguably the most liberal media source in Malaysia.”

“I can’t think of examples of blogs or websites that have similar elements to LB where every writer has a direct stake, interest and access to a common platform. None of them have these things in one fun, purple-banana fuelled package. As LoyarBurokkers like to say, it is not just a blawg, it is a lifestyle.”

Cult today, religion tomorrow

When contacted by e-mail, legal anthropologist (Chinese), Yong de Andrew – incidentally, who changed his name to rival a certain “van” – was more philosophical.

With a tinge of disappointed hopelessness with himself, he said that LoyarBurok is a religious cult, led by an elusive bonobo, that set out to ensnare vulnerable baby lawyers and social activists – often new to the capital – in order to set them to work on projects that further the cult’s dubious libertine agenda.

“The devotees of the cult labour for no monetary reward, apart from occasional favours in the way of food and drink and colourful trinkets, highly valued in the cult, which bear the likeness of their charismatic primate and leader.

The cult’s agenda centres around a set of beliefs known as the “Yoomun rites”, believed to be communicated by the gods through the medium of the cult leader and his cult elders.

Although largely benign, the cult’s behaviours and activities are often unpredictable as a result of the youth of its members, and have recently attracted the attention of the security services, who are concerned that the cult may spark off a Yoomun rites revolution,” he said.

New LoyarBergaya column

LB’s latest recruits, Boo Sha-Lyn and Rudi Cheu, are set to take the worldwide web by storm as they lead LB’s latest fashion tips and review deliverable, LoyarBergaya. The column hopes to make Malaysians dress better.

Ironically, Sha-Lyn, who reviews women’s fashion on her blog, thinks LB is the utmost cool and wonderful blog because what one rarely hears on the streets and in the media will be read on the damned blawg.

“I choose to use fashion to reach out in a manner which is easily approachable and familiar to them,” she said.

(LB: At the time of writing, Rudi was still mulling over what shirt to wear to sleep, but we had no time to wait. Sorry Rudi.)

Similar sentiments are echoed by LB’s futsal captain, Joshua Tay. He sees in futsal – as in fashion – a more effective way to reach out to the people rather than through mundane workshops, forum and meetings.

“Futsal sessions provide good avenues for people to know and love LB, and what LB does.”

In its own way, LoyarBurok has become everyone’s state of mind. One makes of it what one wants to make of it. One does with it what one wants to do with it. Have you ever seen rain on a sunny day?

Now everyone can write. Join us. Move with us. Be a LoyarBurokker today. Write a 800-word post and email [email protected]. You will be surprised at what you can do with your life! LB (@LoyarBurok) has also gone to the ground, beyond an existence in cyberspace, with its PusatRakyat. If you want to intern at PusatRakyat, e-mail [email protected] (@pusatrakyatlb)

The collective persona of Lord Bobo's minions (yes, all the cheeky monkeys and monkettes). Haven't you heard? LoyarBurokking is a lifestyle. Join us, and your life will never be the same again. Because...

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