[Porn Week] Porn: Good or Bad?

The question “Is pornography wrong?” seems tied quite closely to the question “Is sex wrong?”

Opinion seems to be divided over every type of sex beyond that shared by a married man and woman. Views on pornography are no less divergent.

I find it interesting to think about how widespread and prevalent certain things are that are generally held to be ‘wrong’ in mainstream society’s view. The first examples that come to mind are things like drugs, prostitution and corruption.

Just as there isn’t a government or religion on earth that would promote such things, there virtually isn’t a major city in the world where you’re guaranteed to find all three in some form or another.

Pornography seems much the same. Few people openly admit to enjoying it (perhaps myself included), but it’s a multi billion dollar industry that is everywhere, widely available to all, and credited with driving such things as the DVD industry and the internet itself.

Will porn fuck you up?

So, will porn corrupt young minds and lead them down a life of sexual depravity?

I guess that certainly happened to me.

All things considered though, I’m happy I did not meet the same fate watching tons of movies featuring ridiculous levels of violence and cruelty, or lives lost to drugs or gambling.

As has been often argued, this violence thing irks me in particular. Even in movies where violence is apparently “justifiable” (a favourite example is that ridiculous film Taken), I am appalled at the dehumanisation and gore.

On one hand, we have movies celebrating pleasure and life, on the other we have near glorifications of pain and suffering. I’m no pacifist, but our general acceptance of violence on TV while we reject pornography so vigorously is to me one of society’s more disturbing features.

Masturbating your life away

I suppose some would say porn induces a pot-like effect of creating an addiction that ends with young people masturbating their lives away. I stand guilty as charged.

It’s probably true that porn can be a huge time sink. Maybe without it we could solve world hunger and find a cure for cancer or something. Hard to tell, I guess.

Given however, that sex is as primal a human instinct it gets (basically ranking up there with eating, sleeping, defecating and so on), I suppose it’s not surprising how much time people spend thinking about it.

In fact, some would say our bodies are mere instruments created by our genes and DNA to achieve one single goal – their replication and continuation, as achieved by sexual procreation. In creating the perfect existence prolonger however, our genes appeared to have produced a being with many interesting side effects.

In any case, one of pornography’s primary goals is to provide sexual stimulation and TITilation (I wonder if there is indeed an etymological connection between these two words). This seems to me a noble endeavour, one that seeks to spice up an activity that can get – let’s face it – pretty darn boring.

What to remember when trying to watch porn with your girlfriend

Now, I’m all for monogamy for people who think it’s a good idea. One of the challenges you’ll face however, is keeping it exciting in the bedroom. No matter how sexy or skillful your spouse is, the danger of over-routinisation is perhaps one of the biggest, most dangerous wet blankets you will face.

As part of your battle against the legions of boredom, I might recommend perusing pornography for some new inspiration.

Now, I cannot stress this enough – especially to men. There’s a 99% chance that attempting to have sex with your female partner while watching pornography is a BAD idea.

As much fun as this sounds, this is something women don’t generally take kindly too, even though they may express some initial warmth to the idea and/or even enjoy watching the stuff.

The very simple, very important reason is this: women feel a need to be the center of attention during a sexual encounter. Should even the hint of doubt enter their mind that they have slipped away from that center, there will be hell to pay – trust me. Hell hath no fury like a woman who thinks that you’re imagining you’re fucking a porn star while you’re fucking her.

(Once in a while you find a delightful exception who doesn’t care who you think of while you’re fucking as long as you’re fucking well, but such women are few and far in between)

As for women, I might offer only this: never feel threatened by pornography. To borrow from a standup comedian, porn is like masturbation – it was there before you, it’ll still be there when you’re gone. *Just* in case such thoughts ever cross your mind, men watching porn or jerking off does not in any way mean that you are failing to satisfy them, or (the worst misconception of all), that they love you any less. More discussion on this subject is better suited to the week/theme on love, not pornography.

That cardinal rule mentioned above, do feel free to explore – maybe together with your partner/s even – the wide world of pornography in search of new fantasies, new positions, new games, the keep things lively and exciting. Novelty is truly the name of the game when it comes to a healthy sex life.

They say the most potent sexual organ is the brain, and that’s what you gotta keep TITilated at all times. Yes, I made the same corny joke twice.

Boz Kamara is a pseudonym, used partly to protect friends, family and loved ones. Boz is a purveyor of extreme physical pleasure and devotee of unbridled depravity. Into girls. Someone who let soulmate slip away, and every day wonders if it was biggest mistake ever. Boz can be reached for fun and questions at [email protected] and has recently started tweeting @BozKamara.