Taking care of men who behave badly.
“My mom always said to beware of girls with sharp noses. She said it was a sign that they would stop at nothing to get what they wanted. That bitch had a sharp nose, but not anymore.”
We were walking by the lake now. Samantha stopped at a giant bird ornament and (after making sure no one was looking) pulled the bird’s neck back. A trap door swung open before us, and I followed her down a dark tunnel.
It was dimly lit, but well-maintained. Samantha said the park janitors took care of that. They were from Gopeng, like Lat the cartoonist, so they could be trusted to keep her secret. There was a lot of potpourri around, but the place still smelt funny.
“The day it happened, I was waiting in his apartment. I knew they had been fucking in a hotel all day because I had my people follow them. When you’re in this business, you get to know all sorts of people and you can get pretty much anything done. Anyway, they were nabbed and brought back to me. The first question I asked was whether she was sorry, and she said she didn’t do anything wrong. So I shot her in the face, right on that sharp nose of hers. I was disappointed I didn’t blow her head right off. There she was, my ex-friend and her ex-face, bits of cheek, lip and skin still hanging off of it. My ex screamed and said I was crazy, so I shot him in the foot to make a point. I never liked him calling me crazy. Then I made him watch as the boys chopped her into pieces. I held the gun to his head and made him push the button to turn the Insinkerator on as the boys shoved her into it bit by bit. And of course, that fucking coward did as he was told.”
We got to the end of the tunnel. It was darker and I could only see the television. As we got closer, I saw a chair with a skeleton tied to it.
“‘Ex’ would be the right word.”
I only noticed what was on TV a few minutes later.
“Porn. His porn. All 500 gigs of it. When we first brought him here, we tied him to the chair and kept him alive for a few days. Then I had some girls dress up and play out his fantasies. It was quite a show and we recorded all of it. One by one, they went in to entice him. And every time he got turned on, they bit him. It got to a point where he couldn’t get it up anymore. When that happened, we spliced the torture scenes into his porn collection, set it to play on loop, and left him there to die. He didn’t last very long. But then again, he never did.”
I asked Samantha if any of that would have happened if Sharp-Nose had apologised.
“Of course not. I’m a Christian, you know?”
Copyright 2011 June Low All Rights Reserved
June is rumoured to be dating Kylie Minogue. The two were spotted canoodling at Dataran Merdeka and have been inseparable ever since.