White Noise | Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/weexinsitu
White Noise | Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/weexinsitu

Desperate to allay fears that he has turned into a teenage girl from listening to Taylor Swift, Chen Mian Kuang reaffirms his macho-ness by first drawing your attention to two albums brimming with phallic symbolism before heaping accolades on the said Ms Swift.

Tribal Seduction
Tribal Seduction | Credit: Thick Dick

THICK DICK – “TRIBAL SEDUCTION”

A collection of calm classical pieces, from Beethoven’s “Emperor” Concerto to Mendelssohn’s “Nocturne”. Exquisitely performed by the 25 piece Kazakhstan Philharmonic Orchestra and conducted by Monsieur Borat. The sound quality is magnificent; you can hear the double bass strings stretch as they are struck by the bow, the slow decay of the harmonic resonance of the triangle, and the subtle inhale of breathe by the woodwind player as he launches into his solo. Think lying on a beach in the South of France, 100 year old wine in hand, listening to the gentle lapping waves, and lapsing into a coma as your troubles float away to the sea. This is recommended listening after coming home from two hours of productive work and six frustrating hours of navigating city traffic.

(Ed – are you sure you’ve got this review right? Didn’t you file this CD under “dirty house music”?)

Tenacious D | Source: Amazon
Tenacious D | Source: Amazon

TENACIOUS D – ” TENACIOUS D”

Tenacious D are partners in crime, Jack Black (of Nacho Libre fame) and Kyle Glass. Apart from both being physically rotund and sporting A minus cup size breasts (see album cover), they share a common interest in rawk and comedy. Interspersed between songs are snippets of conversation between the band members deliberating on weighty topics, such as “Cock Pushups” and “Inward Singing”. The highlight of the album is a song called “F**k Her Gently” where Black, assuming the role of a lothario, reveals his tender and sensitive side. Accompanied by acoustic guitar strums and occasional strings, he espouses the merits of a gentle start to lovemaking before proceeding to rougher play, his vocals climbing in tandem and reaching a satisfying crescendo at the end of the song. This is the perfect tune to put on when you wish to hint to your partner that you want some.

Not the album cover, but chosen for its obvious asthetic appeal | Source: www.taylorswift.com
Not the album cover, but chosen for its obvious asthetic appeal | Source: www.taylorswift.com

TAYLOR SWIFT – “FEARLESS”

How do you write songs that will spread like viral ads and stick in minds like alien facehugger parasites? This is the million dollar question facing every frustrated musician. Well, Taylor Swift has found the formula. Using mostly basic major and minor chords, she has the ability to tease out very congenial melodies that compel you to press repeat play. Young megastars who compose their own songs are a rarity these days; even rarer are those who are able to compose good songs. Ms Swift is only 21, but having been nominated for 131 music awards over the past five years out of which she has won 73, she has achieved more than what most people can in a lifetime.

“Fearless” is her second album; the original version had 13 songs, whereas the platinum edition has six additional songs. The six extras are not fillers; they give the original 13 a run for the money. Although labelled as country pop, it’s more pop than country. Hearkening back to the days when tunes matter, the music is not banal.  Ms Swift also has lyrical skill; her songs tell autobiographical stories of rollercoaster teenage love and relationships.  The subject matter may be adolescent, but it is well articulated.

Particularly catchy are “Jump Then Fall”, “SuperStar”, “The Other Side of the Door”, “Fearless” and “Breathe” (a duet with Colbie Caillat). And there’s “Love Story” of course, her superhit which just grows on you and refuses to let go. To cement her reputation as America’s pop princess girl next door, she sings a tribute to her mom in “The Best Day” (aww!). There is a palpable positive spirit in her songs. Listen to them first thing in the morning and you will start your day off on the right footing.

Mian Kuang‘s favourite musician is Lord Bobo. His Supreme Eminenceness is well known for his ability to play a total of 25 instruments, and to compose, perform, and produce his albums all by himself. A veritable one-manmonkey band (some say control freak), his career started its meteoric rise in the mid eighties with the release of his soundtrack to a movie starring him and the babelicious Apollonia Kotero. His songs about smooching, velvet rain and crying birds are considered modern classics. Waitaminit! Is His Supreme Eminenceness the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As ……

Mian‘s favourite musician is Lord Bobo. His Supreme Eminenceness is well known for his ability to play a total of 25 instruments, and to compose, perform, and produce albums all by himself. A veritable...

6 replies on “White Noise: Tribal Seduction”

  1. Fahri, thanks for introducing Tenacious D to me in the first place.

    Andrew, give Taylor a try and you might be surprised. She's leagues above Miley and Katy

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