Love, Marriage, And Unweddings

Views on love, marriage, and hopes for an Unwedding.

There is something about my past I don’t tell most people and it’s because I simply don’t think about it.

When I was studying in university in Canada, I was engaged to my college boyfriend of three years. There was a ring and to top it all, I had a job offer. Everything a self-respecting Malaysian student could want to settle down overseas and yet I opted for the unknown, which was to return home to Sarawak and pursue work in orang utan conservation.

Years later, he is married, with kids; and I am not. Believe me when I say this: I am so grateful with how my life has turned out.

(Source: stylehive.com)

(Source: stylehive.com)

Maybe I’m the itik aneh in today’s Asian society for not seeing marriage as an end-goal of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I think marriage is a beautiful thing when two people get together for the right reasons, and are faithful to each other in all the sense of the word till death do they part. However, I don’t think a lot of my peers have gotten married for the right reasons. They marry because their friends are also getting married, that their parents want them to settle down, to give them grandchildren, to complete the cycle of life. And yet, is it not up to us, to say, we may not want this for ourselves?

I’m not convinced that marriage makes you happy or that it completes you. It scares me to see married people who are very unhappy with each other and yet are unable to do anything about it. Sometimes, if one of them has the fortitude to make a change, a divorce may occur which is always devastating to both parties. Sometimes, the marriage becomes a hollow shell where two people are together because society dictates so.

I think what most people don’t understand is that when you say marriage isn’t for you, it’s not so much that you want to be polygamous or you don’t want a long-term commitment but rather the idea of marriage is so sacred that you need to be prepared for all the consequences that comes with getting married. I am not ready for that.

It is of my humble opinion that it takes greater effort to stay unmarried, than to get married. To be able to resist society’s and family’s pressures to ‘settle down’, and as well one’s occasional insecurities of being alone for the rest of one’s life can be quite a feat especially if you are Asian living in Asia. I feel that wanting to get married is like having a career goal: once you put your mind to it, you will eventually find someone with the same desire. Yet staying happily married is another thing, and it terrifies me to be tied down with someone for whom my feelings might change years down the road.

And so, I thank my parents for raising us up to be independent, particularly my sister and myself. As daughters, we have never ever been pressured to get married. The question has never even been raised. Do you know how amazing that is for Asian parents? Especially when one’s mother is a staunch Catholic?

Both my parents told me —

If you do get married one day, get married for love. Not for money, not for security because neither of these are guaranteed in the long run. Even marrying for love is not guaranteed for a happy-ever-after but at least it is the better choice out of three reasons that most people use to get married.

I don’t believe in getting married so that a ‘man can take care of me’ because I like the sense of self-reliance; ensuring my own continuing ability to take care of myself financially regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not. Or to have kids so that one day, they can take care of me.

But anything can happen. What if my kids die before me?

It’s a selfish reason to procreate, especially in this day and age when earth’s resources are dwindling and our population exploding at an unsustainable rate. I worry about having kids and leaving them in a world where they would have to struggle to survive. Or leaving them in a world where there are no orang utans in the wild. Can you imagine that?

Seriously, this is something I actually ponder upon and feel sad about. The thought of my kids not knowing what it is like to walk in a forest, and see wildlife. Anyway, I think pets are the best ever substitute for kids because they will love you forever, will never go through all that teenage angst, and you will never have to worry about their college tuition.

A close friend said to me recently that she doesn’t want to get married but wouldn’t mind a wedding. I think it’s a great idea for serious committed couples who don’t want to get married.

Have an Unwedding! Invite all your family, friends and relatives and throw a big party celebrating the love that you know of today.

You don’t know how long you are going to stay together but you do hope it will be for a very long time. And you will certainly keep working on the relationship every single day because you don’t have the security of society’s expectations.

The Unwedding is to say that you don’t need to have society’s approval to stay together, and that the only reason you are together is because the two of you have decided so and that you would like to share your idea of committed love with your family and friends.

Plus, in the end you get angpow — win-win situation, I say!

June wants an Unwedding one day.


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In another lifetime, June was a field biologist, searching for orang utans in the wild. She still dreams of living in the forests.

Posted on 13 January 2011. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.

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76 Responses to Love, Marriage, And Unweddings

  1. Reader

    clap, clap, clap……This article surely goes down to hall of fame….clap, clap, clap.

    Very funny guys. Keep it up!!!

    Can =.= please answer back & don't stop? Pls. don't allow your lack of guts to stop this interesting discussion from rolling, ok?

    This is a perfect way to enjoy the weekend by reading hilarious comments. Syiok man!

  2. June Rubis

    I can see I have written a very interesting & hot topic here. Just look at all the comments & I can tell you it's really worth writing.

    Hahahahaha…."Don't stop" & let it roll!!

    Time to rock!!!

  3. Lim Guan Eng

    OOOOOooooooiiiiii!!!!

    My DOG also wanna main!!!!

  4. Sundal-ala-June Rubi

    "FUCK YOU", Arshad Amri!!!

    Pls. LINE-UP & don't POTONG QUEUE!!!

    MY DOG tengah "MAIN" =.= punya mama sekarang. Let my DOGGY habis main dulu.

  5. Arshad Amri

    Cool it!!! Hey, "CHILL"!!! Jangan "PANAS"!!!

    What's all these "INFIGHTING" for??? It just makes all of you look so IMMATURE (macam school kids fighting over a lollipop). This is extremely SHAMEFUL, you know???

    OK..OK…OK…Let's try to put an end to all this PILLOW FIGHTING once & for all. Adoi!!! Gotta act macam PARENTS trying to settle down KIDS. Here we go & let's put a FULL STOP to it, ok???:

    1) AUNTIE JULIE: Pls. retire & keep your comments to those JAPANESE OCCUPATION SOLDIERS who had GANG BANGED you.

    2) =.= : Pls. STOP disturbing 'Auntie Julie'. Just lay back & enjoy watching how your MOTHER gets GANG BANG by Indonesian construction workers, while you entertain yaself enjoying the sight of your FATHER 'screwing' a stray dog thinking as if its' your MOTHER just to produce you. 9 months later, "BANG" & then came you to this world via a DOGs' PUSSY. Now…"Stay & Quiet!!!! Good DOG!!!"

    3) Lim Guan Eng: You're OK & I agree that 'Auntie Julie' is very CREATIVE & HILARIOUS with her choice of words.

    4) Sundal-ala-June Rubis: "SHUT THE FARK UP!!!". If you have nothing better to do, then pls go & 'screw =.= punya MOTHER". She crave for SEX with anyone. Buy her a BURGER & you get a "CUM ON FACE" service.

    5) Leong ChowPong: I don't even know why you bother commenting. All you do is ask STUPID QUESTIONS & get WHALLOP KAW-KAW in-return.

    6) AgreeToDisagree: The more you write, the more OFF TOPIC you're going. OOooiii dah sesat kah???

    7) Azira Aziz: Stop all those BORING LONG ESSAYS. You tengah syiok sendiri, ke??? If you're really that BORED, you can try asking =.= punya MOTHER for a FREE TRIAL but I think her PUSSY is too LOOSE for you. I was told even an AEROPLANE can make a U-TURN inside her PUSSY due to frequent SEX SESSIONS with any Ali, Ah Seng or Muthu.

    Have I settled you all KIDS now???

    BTW to commentator called…… (=.=) !!!

    My DOG is HORNY. Can it try BANGING ya SEX CRAZY CRAVING MAMA???

    This is bladdy hilarious & entertaining!!!

  6. =.=

    hehe` i just proved it that this auntie julie is just a troll name caller (guess she didn't go to school either), congrats just the same for that pontianak harum sundal tengah hari dan tengah malam troll.

    and with such inferior comments, no wonder June prove it that Unwedding is the best choice for this era with such mindset being poured out here.

    Well we do understand that Auntie julie is a SLUT herself during the japanese occupation so we won't mind her name calling rite? i mean she replies us in such a YOUNG manner, she is probably so beautifully SLUTTY right now too for the locales around her area. As she can walk to the kedai to buy sweets and stalks other's at school to give them sweets, replies in such a young tone, use the word *sigh* which probably her grandson taught her how to write in such way, trolling in the most COMMON SENSIBLE manner ^_^ Now i know what is the winner and loser part, when auntie julie lost and became a loser so she act out in a way to ask others to study harder at school cause she is too old and dumb to explain any longer. Plus she speaks of her perfection yet she has a youngster in her family that teach her the word SLUT, i wonder why is that?

    Leong, that auntie has the maturity that is way beyond the comprehension of a human being so we should just accept her as a perishable specimen for this thread. Let's give her a hug, she's is probably going to die soon before the youngsters anyway. WE should appreciate her last moments of trolling and her sarcastic respect for others ^_^ but who knows, probably we will be seeing Grandson of Auntie Julie in this thread to take over her? Will he? will he appear Auntie julie, in this thread too? ^_^

  7. No matter how positive they are, Oligarchs are still Oligarchs. And people who do not DECLARE ASSETS or have TERM LIMITS are not trustworthy aduns.

  8. Lim Guan Eng

    I betul-betul respect you lah, auntie julie!

    Like it when you said the following on 14 January, 2011 at 11:44 pm:

    "your poor father will regret wasting all his raw materials just to manufacture you. As for your sad mother, she will slap herself hard regretting to waste 9 months of machinery energy just to bring you out to this world & the both of them will perhaps hug each other & crying over the time they had wasted having sex just to mould you"

    Very sharp, creative & hilarious! You certainly gave the best tagline I've so far read from so many comments here.

    Kudos auntie!

  9. Sundal ala June Rubi

    Wah Seh!!!

    Earlier most people was ANGRY with my comments & I left for a while. Now that I'm back, I can see everyone is ANGRY with 'Auntie Julie'. How amazing blogging can be, rite???

    Hmmm….I can now understand why there are so much ANGER rising here towards poor 'Auntie Julie'. You wanna know why???

    Cos' what 'Auntie Julie' wrote is indeed CORRECT & her comments shot right into BULLS EYE. Well, only the TRUTH hurts & I pity those commentators who had fallen into her brilliant trap.

    Kakakakakakakaka!!! Well done 'Auntie'!!!

  10. Aunty Julie (60+ gra

    @Leong ChowPong: I think you really need to learn more before you can understand Auntie lah. Nevermind, go to school & study harder. Then, you will understand Auntie. Remember hor…..gotta pay attention in class, ok? After school, Auntie will buy you some candy. Study hard hard ya? Goooooooooood kid!

  11. @ aunty Julie: Common sense? and you label not being married under the same poll as slutty? is that your common sense? or your lack of maturity?

    Cp

  12. Aunty Julie (60+ gra

    Thank you very much for all the complimentary comments especially from 'AgreeToDisagree' & 'laranur'. What I've written was purely based on something called 'COMMON SENSE' of which I'm saddened to notice many people here lacks (e.g.) Azira Aziz, pang, feistgeist, Leong ChowPong & several others.

    However, pls. FORGIVE them as I sincerely believe they will one fine day break out from their shallow mentality & be much MATURE. It's a matter of time. Just give them TIME & CHANCE, ok???

    I finally now understand why there are so many YOUNG GIRLS these days who frequently go sleeping around with MEN of which don't even know. I was told by my grandson such kind of GIRLS are commonly known as "SLUTS". I believe it's the MODERN CULTURE of which had BRAINWASHED them till such extent. My utmost sympathy to their PARENTS.

    I also believe those who SUPPORT the views of JUNE RUBIS are somewhere in-between the term of "SLUTS". How shocking, right??? What even shocked me further was my grandson told me he doesn't mind SLUT as he said these SLUTTY GIRLS are PUBLIC PROPERTY. He amazing mentioned "the more; the better". I gave him 2 HARD slap instantly.

    What on EARTH is going WRONG with the MODERN FEMALES these days??? Back to BARBARIAN STONE AGE era??? Gosh, they are WORSE than WHORES. *Sigh*

  13. Azira Aziz

    AgreeToDisagree :

    From http://www.handfasting.info/histanglo.html

    In ancient times, a coin was broken by a young man and half given to his intended and half for himself. The broken coin represented his intent to return and "make what is broken whole." In the Middle Ages, coins were replaced with rings which continued to be broken for many years. The woman would wear her broken half on a ribbon around her neck to advertise the fact that she was betrothed. Eventually, the custom became two rings instead of a broken one: One for the engagement and another for the wedding. These rings were usually simple bands with romantic sayings engraved along the outside. A few of these phrases are: Till Death Divide (Nemo nisi Mors), In Good Faith (Tout pour bien Feyre), Love Conquers All (Amot vincit Om), May we Love Forever (Semper Amenus), You Have my Heart (Mon Coeur Avez), Two Bodies One Heart (Deux Corps une Coeur)

    Italians were the first to associate the fiery brilliance of a diamond with the fires of love and had given diamonds as betrothal gifts for generations. It was believed for centuries that a diamond in an engagement ring would inevitably bring bad luck to the wearer and her husband because the interruption of the perfect circle destroyed the eternal love that the unbroken circle symbolized. But the diamond engagement ring became fashionable in the 15th Century when Mary of Burgundy received one from her fiancée, Archduke Maximilian of Austria.

    The tradition of wearing the wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand, stems from the ancient Greek belief that a nerve ran directly from that finger to the heart, giving the groom the illusion that he had placed a ring around the bride’s heart. Another explanation is that the ring is worn on the left hand to signify the subjugation of the bride to her husband. The right hand signifies power, independence and authority. Another, more practical belief, is that the third finger can’t be straightened unless the other fingers are extended, which makes it safer there. Also, since left-handed people were considered sinister and of the devil, no one used that hand predominantly, so a ring there is safer than a ring on the right hand.

  14. Yeah @Aunty Julie! This is a website for amoral lawyers who back nepotistic politicians. So go away! Marriage is nothing if you are married to someone insecure who has so much hate . . . sounds like they have your head wired to neurotech too . . .

    I truly wonder what you guys are about when I read comments like Leong posted up there.

    Not in relation to this article, but Barcouncil, are you really Barcouncil or entrenched persons, or does someone need to set up a REAL Bar Council? So ambivalent and self serving (alongside so many biased NGOs like Aliran/Suhakam???)

  15. =.=

    damn lots of kaypoh that are so interested in june's choice, so does it make it right for 'you' ppl to TALK BAD about her (where's all your SO CALLed HUMANE VERBAL manners, you left it in primary school and highschool is it? after finish Moral and Pendidikan Islam in SPM then tutup buku la, ok then so will I) *smirk*, esp auntie julie, 60+ yr old yet show the ugly side of seniority, oppresses ppl with your ANCIENT view draggin in her 'parents' in the subject with your own imagery of how her parents will act (you know them, serioously)? did you even read about the part she writes about her parents, oops you are too old and might have Alzheimer and couldn't scroll your fingers carefully on the mouse roller aww geez… pardon me (i would probably orbit around you with colourful origami papers attached to my whole body if you have Seizure!). like me putting my views on you without knowing you?

    and you said > "who have walked the course of life much longer than you" so do you walk her walk? halo when you walk your walk, people are walking a different walk than yours, how could you even base your credibility/experience on that if you speak on leading a life which is so different from yours then to now? She is not you and you are not her. What sort of equation of yourself you want her to employ? WoW… just wow. that gives you power to dictate someone else huh` with yours in such 'keji' implicit manners. And what's this bout loser and winner? lose what? enlighten me pls. Gawd~! an NTSC/PAL tv putting fragments of herself in a HDTV will make it way much better rite~ rite~ :) im sure it shoots holograms after that. You seem to lack in confidence youself. Hey im just sayin~ i mean u can assume she is lack in confidence so can i rite? i mean if you comment it here, i assumed its public and everyone can shoot it from all angles and err~ well the lack of confidence part of you probably base on the ASSUMPTION that you think 'young & naive' ppl couldn't possibly have your way of 'happiness' in life.

    not everyone is as conservative as you old lady, now you know why young people of this era don't like hearing old sad conservative ways of leading a 'happy' life like yours :) so does your age make it plausible for you to assimilate the past 'you' life to this lady who wrote this article of her thoughts. She is saying she is liberated from asian societal marriage norm and she is happy bout it, if u really do RESPECT her notion, i dont see why you want to judge her with your 60+ ancient ways of life. your no)4 contradicts your no)5 and no)6. so much for respect, now you know why the youngsters don't want the old peep's cheap respects anymore. it's so sarcaspect = sarcasm + respect. get it auntie?

    im expecting trolls but wateva~ *rolls eyes*

    cheerios to June ^_^ and

    old ladies, they are so naggy isnt it. sometimes i just wished there would be more elderly people in the next Saw movie. it would be so damn fun~!!!

    LAWLS~ tee hee

    =3

  16. @Aunty Julie : This is a platform for all to publish their views, if you don't like it this way, just leave.

    If you have a point to make, write us an article.

    Marriage is nothing if you are married to someone insecure who has so much hate, like that sundal fellow, who hides in the guise of many user names..

    Cp

  17. Conservative people will fight over anything and they almost always react through hatred and anger. Where do these barbarians learn to use computers? They don't like spinsters and I bet they don't like gay people either. Why? Because anything that doesn't breed is unnatural?

    I've seen those cars and motorbikes loaded with children. Toddlers aren't strapped in the backseat, cry at the cinema and run amok at restaurants. Oh gosh, the married life blessed with ample children sounds great.

    Furthermore, do these people really think that a woman needs to be beautiful and fertile to get married? Do you think that married people aren't 'sundal' and don't cheat or flirt? I pity the spouses/future spouses of these commentators. A real woman is empowered, compassionate and resilient which June definitely comes across as.

    You don't need to be married to prove your worth. That is the path of the individual. After all when we die, we are all going to die alone.

  18. Well said Auntie Julie!

  19. pang

    With such idiots defending marriage, I don't blame June for wanting to stay unmarried. Our gene pool is totally screwed with these trolls peeing into it.

  20. " Plus, in the end you get angpow — win-win situation, I say! "

    The whole point was just to justify being a material girl after all. No surprise if a BN supporter. Praise be to Leviathan!

    On a more serious note, the attack on the symbol of marriage will not go unnoticed by Western cultural traditionalists, though the ring itself is Western culture for sure and needs to be re-examined in context of Asian cultures which is where we are.

    What did the non-anglo-saxons have in place of a ring before Western 'civilisation' took over?

  21. Azira Aziz

    Dear commentators,

    The Editors and Authors in this website has access to your IP IDs. We're not Dinasaur activists, ok, so we can trace such things.

    Btw, it is normal for people to be resistant to others who challenges the fundamental ideals that one holds on to in order to form his or her entire life into a singular existence. June is an Orang Utan lover and proud of it. She's living her life as she chooses, which is I think what is most attractive about her, as she is happy and comfortable in her own skin. She's real.

    How about you Single-IP-troll?

  22. Nomen

    "Single-ISP troll". I like that.

    So, @ single-ISP troll,

    We could investigate why you make yourself seem more numerous than you are.

    We could investigate why you tear others down so viciously.

    We could investigate the whys and wherefores that have shaped you into this state of self-esteem.

    You're interesting in many respects.

  23. Syazwina

    Gah, profile settings. The long comment was from only me, lest I be misrepresenting the others.

  24. Joyce

    Trolls will be trolls. They just can't help but behave in an ugly manner. Anyway, with that kind of vitriol being spewed, no one takes it seriously :)

  25. Aunty Julie (60+ gra

    Dearest June Rubis,

    I'm a 60+ year old grandmother & kindly allow me to advice this little girl by the name of June Rubis some valuable advice.

    1) I understand what you wrote is purely based on your personal life. However, when what you had written appear in this blog, then, it's no longer 'personal'. It automatically becomes 'public' & thus exposing yourself to attacks from all angles.

    2) I respect your choice of 'not' believing in marriage but you should have kept it solely to yourself. There's no point of you trying to gain cheap publicity by posting your views about marriage here. This will only make you a bigger loser instead of winner.

    3) As a female myself & a female who have walked the course of life much longer than you, I reckoned you to reconsider your thoughts about marriage. Perhaps you are still young & naive but as age catches up with you one fine day, I believe your mindset will change.

    4) As much as I respect your stance of 'not' believing in 'marriage' but the reasons/examples given by you is utmost shocking. You seem to be lacking in confidence in life.

    5) I hope your parents will not get to read what you had wrote here. I believe your parents will be totally devastated should they find out about their daughters' view pertaining to 'marriage'.

    6) Last but never the least, please try to keep this article far away from your parents. Otherwise, your poor father will regret wasting all his raw materials just to manufacture you. As for your sad mother, she will slap herself hard regretting to waste 9 months of machinery energy just to bring you out to this world & the both of them will perhaps hug each other & cry over the time they had wasted having sex just to mould you.

  26. June Rubis

    Aiyoh….."Adrian Chew, Edmund Bon Tai Soon, Marcus van Geyzel, Syahredzan Johan and Syazwina Saw"

    No need to defend me lah.

    I've already admitted above I like MAKING LOVE to Orang Utan lah. Thanks for defending me though but too bad…."that's the TRUTH"

  27. Adrian Chew, Edmund

    Although I don't experience any pressure to get married from my parents (who, being practicing Muslims, believe that women should accordingly be able to lead independent lives), I do understand the idea of societal pressure. Getting married young seems to be the norm, and it seems the fashionable marrying age seems to be getting younger, which is a bit of a culture shock for me. My aunts got married in the 80's and 90's when they wanted to and were ready, which usually meant their late 20's or mid-30's. It feels like they were more aware of the realities of a lifelong commitment, compared to my peers.

    That said, I adore this piece. It's so personal and brave of you, June, and it's nice to hear someone reaffirming something we seem to forget – that in order to even commit to someone, we have to understand and commit to ourselves first. Marriage isn't the end-all, be-all of life, but you don't hear that nowadays.

    And here's a little tidbit for the grammatically-inane, single-ISP trolls above: I'm assuming you take offense with June's article because she doesn't think marriage is for her, and judging from your sentence structure, you probably speak Malay as a first language. So here goes – one of the most respected and reknowned female scholars in Islam is Rabi'atul Adawiyah, who is also a key sufist figure in the spiritual branch of Islam known as tasawwuf. She is often held as a beautiful example of religious devotion; she dedicated herself to God and His Word, and became one of the most knowledgeable scholars of her generation. She never married, because as she famously said (and I paraphrase), 'I am in love with God, and what else do I need?'

    Marriage is encouraged in Islam, but it's not an absolute must. So read up on the basics of Islam and stay the heck out of other people's personal lives.

  28. June Rubis

    "Yes" I am June Rubis & "Yes" I have the hots for Orang Utan. I like making love to these handsome animal. Do you have a problem with it? Please respect my preference, ok?

    Thank you.

  29. July Rubis

    It seems like this LADY by the name of JUNE RUBIS prefer ORANG UTANS instead of MEN.

    Just imagine the following:

    "One UGLY FLAT CHESTED chic getting BANGED by a ORANG UTAN while she groan 'Yamate', 'Yamate', 'Yamate".

    Hahahahahaha!!! Some call this DISGUSTING, while, I call this AMAZING but my DOG would BARK & call this FOREST EXOTICA!!!

  30. dear sundal-ala-june.

    first of all i like your comment.

    now continue..

    dear ms june..you are so westernize in your idealism that drives you to think like this…you so get used to the idea being engage to a man but not married.in the word"engage" is it a proper engagement ritual you are talking about or just an agreement between you and the men to explore your sexual desire to the fullest until when you come back to sarawak and you don't find any local men that attracts you or up to your own "standards" of choice of men that makes you not married until now? let me tell you this the idea of getting married is for us to complete the cycle of love and for our own satisfaction and for you have your own kids who screaming at the door whenever you get back..that makes you forget all the hectic that you have in your day.you see this is all natural thing in human but since you have decided not to get married you will not have the opportunity to experience this instead you want to focus your love attention to orang utan which only have about 80-90% of human resemblance.please correct me if i'm wrong since i am not an expert in orang utan as yourself.all i can say is good luck to you but later in life you might regret that moment because by then you will not have any grandson or grandaughter who come up to you and ask any silly question and share your life experience but instead having the orang utan to scratch your backside..kudos to you and your idealism.

  31. jaschintaz

    I just realised that there's an important distinction between being single, being in a relationship for companionship but choosing not to get married, and being single either by choice or not (and thus, obviously not married).

    There is no right or wrong with any or either of those choices, except that cohabitation without marriage may be viewed infavourably by most religions.

    But hey, I'd choose animals over kids ANY day :)

  32. July Rubis

    OOoooiiiii!!!! Stop it!

    I think June Rubis is doing a good welldespite being old, ugly & tak boleh mengandung.

    I used to have a friend just like June. She is old, ugly (maybe a litter prettier than June) & doctor told her she couldn't get pregnant. You know what happened??? She later committed suicide.

    So, I think June Rubis is still taking it alright. Whether she will suicide later or not, I don't know (but I hope not). After all, emotional trauma can drive a person to doing things that is unthinkable.

    Be strong, June!

  33. old & ugly but A

    Dear June Rubis,

    Can I try my luck with you? Who knows we can be a pair of ETERNAL LOVING couple till the end of life.

    I too believe in 'UNWEDDING' becos I'm just like you who is 'Old & Ugly'. However, I can still produce SEMEN although I understand you CANNOT produce EGG. I don't mind (I swear!!!).

    I love people who are PESSIMISTIC in life & you suit me just fine. I can help you to be more POSITIVE in life of which you desperately need. I will teach & show you that life is worth living although you're 1 OLD & UGLY BITCH (ooppss sorry!! I mean darling).

    Will you give me a chance???

  34. Mr. XXX

    Hey June Rubis,

    If what Sundal-ala-June Rubis wrote is true, I have solutions for you!!!

    1) UGLY Factor: Go get a Plastic Surgery.

    2) UNABLE TO CONCEIVE factor: Go seek advice from medical experts or try TEST TUBE babies.

    3) AGE factor: Sorry, can't help.

    4) THROWING A PARTY BUT NOT GETTING MARRIED: Pls. call me especially if it's gonna be a 'Orgy Party'. I sure don't wanna miss out but sorry I wouldn't choose you.

  35. Francisca Adele Edwa

    Clap, clap, clap…well said commentator "Sundal-ala-June Rubis".

    Just can't imagine how this piece of junk can be posted. This is a humiliation to all Women on mother earth.

    However, I suspect June wrote this article out of sheer frustration. When you are old, ugly & have difficulties conceiving…."this sort of stress can drive a person to writing such an article".

    Cheer up, June! Life is not a the end. Just start adopting a more positive mindset.

  36. Sundal-ala-June Rubi

    Let's put it this way…

    1) This SUNDAL by the name of JUNE RUBIS is 1 UGLY BITCH. That's why she's NOT married. Her look will even SCARE Freddie Krueger away.

    2) This SUNDAL cannot CONCEIVE. This is why she's writing so much RUBBISH of not having a family. "Bila TAK boleh keluar TELUR, diam saja lah"

    3) It takes GREATER effort to stay UNMARRIED instead of MARRIED??? I agree!!! Just imagine the kind of TRAUMA this SUNDAL gotta go thru' when she's so SPOOKY UGLY & can't even lay an EGG.

    4) This SUNDAL said being UNMARRIED is 'self reliance'. Well, I will call it "LONELY at no choice".

    5) This SUNDAL then asked "What if my kids die before me?". Let me say a BITCH like this is 1 HELL of a PESSIMISTIC idiot. You might as well asked "What if I get a miscarriage even before I deliver?". Negative minded person like this SUNDAL-ala-June Rubis might as well just go commit suicide. No point living this life with such a NEGATIVE perception of life.

    6) This SUNDAL also agrees to the idea of NOT getting MARRIED but to hold a Wedding party instead. Gosh!!! You might as well throw a ORGY Party lah. What the HELL is this SUNDAL talking about??? In ORGY parties, you can then switch partners & NOT requiring to be MARRIED. Well of course with the look of such a SUNDAL like June Rubis; she'll be the ONLY 1 watching without participating.

    7) This SUNDAL cheekily added "Plus, in the end you get angpow". Dear Oh Dear!!! You are NO different to a BEGGAR at Kota Raya or Chow Kit Road. For an OLD, UGLY & EGG UNBEARABLE SUNDAL, you still got the cheek to go hunt for ANG POWS, ar??? Malu BAPAK lah betul!!!

    Lastly, go get a LIFE & stop talking NEGATIVRE CRAP!!!

  37. caravanserai

    Married for the right reasons

    Leave for the right moments

    The future nobody can predict

    Live the life; enjoy what you have

    Society seems unchanged

    Every man and woman

    Grow up get married

    Populate the Earth

    It seems the order of life cycle

    Brewing in every fabric of society

    Living in god's way no sins committed

    Tying up into a marriage

    Yet many forget to ask?

    Are we conned full time?

    In religion and marriage?

    We aren't free of sins

    We are born into sins

    The day we came to the world

    We have been for a reason

    Learn the journey of Life

    We have to learn

    Married or unmarried life

    The spices we will go through

    Some call it sins God say “I forgive”

  38. Pingback: Tweets that mention Love, Marriage, And Unweddings | LoyarBurok -- Topsy.com

  39. sharmanijane

    luv to be unwedded eventhough luv d fly 2 bits

  40. omegaoracle

    Makes for an interesting, thought provoking read. The underlying message is superbly composed, and well presented.

  41. Izmil Amri Ismail

    June Rubis is yet to answer my proposal.

    MvG.. polygamy is not allowed. get out of said line.

    kah kah kah.

    Society dictates too much for us to actually agree blindly. Screw society. What if it was agreed upon that weddings must at least cost half a million and must take place at Carcosa Sri Negara.

    Screw society la wey.

    Let's all unmarry eachother and have an orgy.

    Kah kah kah.

  42. Azira Aziz

    You're lucky June. I grow up with the expectation that I will marry 'eventually' out of religious obligation. For 'someone to take care of me' and because it's part of being an adult. It's one of those things in the 'life list'.

    1. Kena sunat.

    2. Khatam Quran.

    3. Get an education/Degree in Uni.

    4. Get a job.

    5. Get married.

    That is why many young adult Muslims marry early. To choose an independent life, carving your own path as a woman is often frowned upon. Kudos to you June, and your wonderful parents.

    May we all find our own happiness in our own way.

  43. Chin_Chai_Man

    Chehhh…Izmil Amri Ismail beat me to it !!!

    June arhh..you sound like my kind of mama!!! When can we get together for a tea-tarik in a mamak stall near you?

    Wouldn't it be great to have lots of unwedding days? I love to attend all the unwedding days of all my ex-girlfriends.

  44. Shaf

    With you until 'societal pressures' and 'children and pets'. I agree with you up to there. If you see the world as beautiful, you will want children to see it. If you see life as beautiful, you will want children to experience it. Has less to do with children taking care of you later than you wanting to love them and have them love you while you can. Again, beauty. And if the 'pet' argument isn't all jokes, it's hard to imagine having children to see what calculable benefit you can achieve from them. Children are an overwhelming experience, not a transaction. Another thing, again, if not all jokes, the 'unwedding' idea to me is more a celebration of the unwillingness to commit (as you noted) than sticking it to societal pressures. If the bone is to be picked with the actions of people who ignore marital problems due to reliance on society's expectations, or people who get married to please society, it should be noted that there is a large section of society who get married with the very same ideals, and therefore do not fall under these criticisms. Yet they didn't need an 'unwedding' — they had commitment. To each other. Not that I'm saying you deny the existence of such a union. You clearly acknowledge commitment as something necessary for holy matrimony. You might have just missed mentioning it in your final observations. Also, I'm not discussing the need for weddings; it has many functions in religion and civil law. I'm just discussing the points you bring up. Thank you for the article, I like reading opinions and thoughts.

    Also, just for another point of view:

    http://www.fatalerr012.com/?works=why-not-dating-

  45. June Rubis

    Thank you guys – your comments made me smile… lets have a mass Unwedding! :))

  46. *clap clap* who cares about marriage or not, if two hearts are bound.

    and even if it happens, marriage is not about age and dates, it's all abt the date.

    Cp

  47. Noreen

    If there was a like button on this website, I will click on that. LIKE!

  48. Adriana

    June, can we unmarry each other? Love your piece here. Speaks my mind out aloud.

  49. OK, Izmil is first in line. Everyone else, please form an orderly queue…

  50. Izmil Amri Ismail

    Awww.. this is sweet.

    Will u unmarry me?