Jonathan shares his list of 10 things he would like to have this Christmas in a love letter to Santa. What’s yours? Disclaimer: Sarcasm used in this post is intentional and purely for entertainment.
Dear Santa Claus,
Sorry to disturb. I understand that you’ve been pretty busy with everyone else in this world, but still I would like to pass you this list.
I have been a good boy, just in case you haven’t noticed. As a matter of fact, since the end of that miserable 2009, my goodness quotient is up quadruple digits, higher than the growth of the Malaysian economy this year.
So with your supernatural powers, kindly cough these 10 things up for me, please.
1. Range Rover Sport for me to travel from jungle to jungle, in style.
2. Apple Mac Book Pro 15″ to replace my old, slow-like-snail, battery-cannot-charge present laptop.
4. Ongoing amusement from politicians or leaders with a weird sense of humor.
5. Durians in the stockings of those responsible for the deaths caused by bus crashes. Those who inconvenienced us by sub-standard cracked overhead bridges and leaking government buildings. Buggers who squandered our country’s wealth for their own mansions (one that cost only RM3.5 million because it was bought from a company facing difficulties with a loan of RM3.0 million from a renowned bank in addition to renovations of RM600,000 – do they expect the country to be stupid enough to believe that?), and everyone else who pissed me off this year. On second thought, actually, forget the durians. Have you got reindeer heads instead? We can do an experiment and see who will politicise the heads and make it headline news.
6. Heavy snow and ice to shower the North Pole, instead of wasting themselves in the UK, France and Germany, because they can help re-freeze some of the melted polar ice caps there. Helps greatly in slowing down global warming really.
Sorry. I crack myself up sometimes.
10. Everybody off Daphne’s private life for a while. Well, you know. She needs some time off before she dates again. And please leave gays alone too. They’re people like us. Like you. Like me. They have the right to exist like everyone else.
Oh by the way Santa, just in case you’re driving this Christmas, please watch this. Hope it will wake you up a little.
Merry Non-Denominational, Non-Racist, Non-Political Christmas, Everyone!
P/S : I love you.
Jonathan is an inquisitive, community-driven Malaysian passionate about current affairs, who never fears to be vocal and supportive of the right causes in society. An engineer by profession, he loves music, travelling, fun and adventure, and finds immense joy and fulfillment in meeting new people from all walks of life. An ardent believer in moderation, he pursues balance in everything he says and touches. Follow his blog, The World According To Me and his tweets @jonathanfun.