Alor Setar is really far,
There’s nothing there, it’s pretty bare.

The taxi driver said to me,
(and he was serious as could be)
“Sini takde benda yang best!”
I thought he was simply being… modest.

He tried, he suggested Muzium Padi
I enquired further, I hoped that maybe
Muzium Padi would impress,
However, it sounded far from “best”

And then he took me to a mall,
Promising I’d have a ball,
I soon found out my choices were
Not Ferragamo or Lewre
But Mr Gulati’s House of Silk
And other products of that ilk.

Carrying on, what hope he offered!
(I silently wished I hadn’t bothered)
“If you’re willing to venture far,
you’ll find yourself on the steps of Bata!”

Har dee har, he was now laughing,
And I was on the verge of barfing,
I swore I’d shoot him in the face,
Strangle his kids in Gulati’s lace,
But that was when he said to me,
There was a way I could be free,
The next flight out was in an hour,
I’d make it if I didn’t shower!

Whoopee! Hurray! I was on my way!

As the plane readied for take off,
The driver looked glad I’d buggered off,
But I didn’t care, I said not au revoir,
To this town called Alor Setar.

4 replies on “Confessions of a Shopaholic – Alor Setar Chapter”

  1. Ee yer June so bad one you. This Alor Star boy feels slighted but also cannot argue lah – it's a damn boring town. The only drama now is from Jabatan Agama raids on alleged mak nyah gatherings, or so my childhood friends tell me.

  2. The cabbie had made the proverbial boo-boo

    by not bringing you to pekan rabu

    where once there was a potential doctor

    who later became some sort of a hitler

    there you can shop till you drop

    even for a pair of ferragamo flip-flop

    then you can feast on the famed mee-hoon soup

    you pay 2.50 and no tip to the dude

    then you could have walked to pekan melayu

    where that doctor used to earn his tofu

    beside that is the local china town

    where you could find anything from firecrackers to a red gown

    if you had so desired

    there are a lot in alor star you could have acquired

    but I do not know what really had transpired

    between you and that cab you had hired…

    :) have a good weekend June.

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