Royale Luck

Royalties tend to have more patience than most of us because they live off our hard earned money, don’t have to work if they don’t want to, use their positions for business, marry and divorce as often as they like (all on our money of course), can sell titles, can give titles in exchange for favours, overseas trips etc.

Ask not what your King can do for you, ask how much you can give to his family (on top of the other political royalties feeding off us).

They lead charmed lives far removed from the rakyat. We should be grateful also that they are now trying to claw back their immunity so that they can better safeguard our interests (okay, let’s overlook the fact that they try to kill/beat up each other, kill caddies who annoy them etc.).

In short, noble people do noble things and we are blessed that our taxes go towards maintaining their luxurious, wasteful lifestyle.

I am so immensely grateful that we have such patient, honest, pious (don’t forget that the Sultan is the Head of Islam in their respective states, sometimes doubling up as a patron of night clubbing establishments), true and caring special beings that are far superior in biology, intellect and culture to all of us. Thank God for such outstanding models of humanity.

Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Jesus pale in comparison to the achievements of our royalty.

We are so lucky. So damn lucky.


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Fahri Azzat practices the dark arts of the law. Although he enjoys writing and reading, he doesn't enjoy writing his own little biographies of himself. Like this one. He wished somebody else would do it for him. He has little taste in writing about himself in third person. He feels weird doing it. But the part he finds most tedious is having to pad up the lack of his accomplishments, or share some interesting facts about his rather uneventful life, as if there were some who found that oh-so-interesting; as if he were some famous person, like Michael Jackson. When he writes these biographies, the thought, 'Wei, Jangan Perasaan- ah!' lights up in his head. So he usually just lists what he got involved with, positions he held and blah, blah. But this time. Right here. Right this very moment. Uhuh. This one. This one right here. He's finally telling it like it is.

Posted on 10 February 2009. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.

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17 Responses to Royale Luck

  1. Rashi Awlad

    “The institution of Royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.” Mark Twain

    I couldn't agree more.

  2. Janetlee

    Wow… I am speechless.

    :)

    Great rhetoric!

  3. You watch out man…there will be 84 police reports against you soon.

  4. M V Nathan

    Fahri, I couldnt agree more with you. The once head of the fountain of Justice is now reduced to waste water down the sewage pipes.

    Cheers

  5. Shamini Thuraiselvam

    Dear Fahri,

    A very good piece.

    This is line with the equal distribution of wealth promised by the PM.

    Plus the meaning of my life is clearer now!

  6. sleme

    Republic of Malaysia!!

    Power to the people…

    Reminds me of a classic scene in Monty Python's quest for the holy grail…exchange between King Arthur and 2 peasants, Dennis and his wife….

    Scene 3

    [clop clop]

    ARTHUR: Old woman!

    DENNIS: Man!

    ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?

    DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.

    ARTHUR: What?

    DENNIS: I'm thirty seven — I'm not old!

    ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.

    DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.

    ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'

    DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

    ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind

    you looked–

    DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!

    ARTHUR: Well, I AM king…

    DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By

    exploitin' the workers — by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma

    which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!

    If there's ever going to be any progress–

    WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh — how d'you do?

    ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

    Who's castle is that?

    WOMAN: King of the who?

    ARTHUR: The Britons.

    WOMAN: Who are the Britons?

    ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.

    WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous

    collective.

    DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.

    A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–

    WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

    DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would–

    ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives

    in that castle?

    WOMAN: No one live there.

    ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?

    WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

    ARTHUR: What?

    DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take

    it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

    ARTHUR: Yes.

    DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified

    at a special biweekly meeting.

    ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

    DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,–

    ARTHUR: Be quiet!

    DENNIS: –but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more–

    ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

    WOMAN: Order, eh — who does he think he is?

    ARTHUR: I am your king!

    WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

    ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.

    WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?

    ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,

    [angels sing]

    her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur

    from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,

    Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

    [singing stops]

    That is why I am your king!

    DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords

    is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power

    derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical

    aquatic ceremony.

    ARTHUR: Be quiet!

    DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power

    just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

    ARTHUR: Shut up!

    DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just

    because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd

    put me away!

    ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

    DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

    ARTHUR: Shut up!

    DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

    HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!

    ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!

    DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,

    eh? That's what I'm on about — did you see him repressing me,

    you saw it didn't you?

  7. veryupset

    I thought the Sultans of each state always have their subjects interest at heart…!

    What the Sultan of Perak has done…, does it reflect on the rest…???

    Why do we NOT hear any comments from the rest of the Sultans…???????????????????????

    Eeerrr…. you are human too ! Sultan is only a given title. Blood still red…! Not blue…!

    Come on say something………!

  8. Katharina Sri (forme

    Sorry, I mean to say dear Loyar Burok! Great name by the way, and write more please. Looks like you've hidden talent here!

    Katharina Sri (former: Noor Aza Othman)

    Germany

  9. Katharina Sri (forme

    Royale Luck, your writing is brilliant, a breath of fresh air. More please!

    These kind of Malays are so brainwashed! Don't they remember how cruel the Malay Kings were, and they were the ones who first sold the country to the British! But one great thing I'm glad the British brought was, dynamic MULTICULTURALISM, with different ethnic groups and religion, voila! Or this country would have long ago been talebanized! So, unthinking Malays, wise up and get historical facts rights! REAL EDUCATED Malays are no more cows, to be pulled by the ring-in-the nose by these primtive and medieval Malay Sultans! DOWN WITH MONARCHY; AND LONG LIVE CONSTITUTIONAL SECULAR DEMOCRACY AND UNIVERSAL HUMAN RIGHTS IN MALAYSIA!

    Katharina Sri (former: Noor Aza Othman)

    Germany

  10. booi kheng

    There is a Chinese saying that if you push your luck too far,its a matter of time that you get the reverse bound back, and expressiveness is rewarded.

    Come next election you would understand the full picture ,but the point is can the steam be maintain?Malaysians is famous for its forgetfulness ,the way things are taken for granted or "not granted"(perhaps 95% are)speak clear and ring loud in the memory of average Malaysians who chose to forget but not forgive.

    By the way,how is the economy treating you ,if you cannot make ends meet,coupled with what you have witnessing the grabbing of political power in Perak ,would you chose to forget and forgive again,After all this is the en-spirit of Belehland,right!

  11. Ha! Ha! Ha! Excellent piece…

  12. sahmad

    Selling sand? Is that GAMUDA? Jeff Ooi out of the blue mentioned GAMUDA as the Perak royalty corporate vehicle.

    Some 10 years ago GAMUDA was responsible for messing up Klang river (silting etc) and orang asli settlements, killing off fireflies.

  13. Annou Xavier

    The news in town is that the royalty wanted to do excavation of sand from Sungai Perak and sell the sand to a company. MB Nizar refused to allow so until Dept. of Environment regulstaion are complied with.

    When BN 'bought' their way to form a government, HRH took the oppurtunity in demanding the resignation of Nizar as MB.

    On another note, I want to ask all lawyers and those connected in the legal services not to attend any of Sultan Azlan Shah lecture series as the former Lord President, who advocates Constitutional Freedom, justice, human rights, blah…blah… does not seem to walk the talk

  14. PM

    The difference between a royal and an ordinary citizen is not the colour of his blood nor the amount of stuff between the ears (though I must add that usually the ordinary citizen seems to have more of the quality stuff). It is all about being right person, at the right hole at the right time when coming out into the world.

  15. Stephen Tan Ban Chen

    My dear Fahri

    I guess you must be operating in one of your more sarcastic modes. You cannot be seriously believing what you have written.

    In line with that sarcasm, I must say that Malaysia must count itself a lucky country as the country in the world "feeding" three-quarters of its existing royalty.

  16. Disgusted Perakian

    In shame I still call myself a Perakian.
    Well, loyalty has its price; and it is obvious not one carried by the royalties (pity – how close were the words ‘loyalty’ and ‘royalty’)
    It is also a crying shame (if they knew even how to spell the word ‘shame’) for najib to even went to HRH – asking for the lowest of deed !
    Let it be acknowledged of how a ‘government’ (if one can call it that) resorted to unconstitutional act, to ‘claim’ setting up of a ‘constitutional’ government for the state?
    Let it be remembered;
    and let them feel it when the next ‘real’ democratic election comes around.
    I am also guessing that if the Fed Govt were to spend billions of our hard earned money, in helping our country stay above the global financial meltdown – those in power wants to be ‘ at the right place, in the right time ‘ to help spend it ?
    I shall be watching

  17. rakyat

    The Sultanate system is obsolete in this age and time It is a relic of the ancient feudal hierarchy which have no place in an educated, enlightened and modern world.
    Why should the majority of the rakyat feed and sustain the lavish and decadent lifestyle of the rulers?
    What productivity and usefulness have they endeared to the people?
    A Sultan”s wishes and dictate should not overide the interest of the general populace more so when there is a tie in the state assembly.
    In this case the Sultan should have remained neutral, dissolve the assembly and let the rakyat choose whom they want to be governed.
    The Sultan”s integrity would have been preserved and due respect accorded by the rakyat.