The Bungholio

From the Selangor Times 30 November 2012. Ask Lord Bobo is a weekly column by LoyarBurok where all your profound, abstruse, erudite, hermetic, recondite, sagacious, and other thesaurus-described queries are answered!

Dear Lord Bobo, what do you think of the anti-Lynas campaign? Is it just another politically-motivated campaign to make the BN government look bad? (Medium Rare, via email)

First of all, Lord Bobo would like to tip his fine unicorn-hair wig to those folk who walked all the way from Kuantan to Kuala Lumpur over the course of 2 weeks. That’s 300 km. Some LoyarBurokkers get knacked even having to drive that distance.

So yes, tips-of-wigs, and purple bananas all around.

Now, lots has been said about the anti-Lynas movement.

Some said the protest caused traffic jams and was therefore unreasonable. We will ignore those morons. Some said the protest was “obviously” insincere as it was held in Kuala Lumpur instead of Kuantan. Ignoring the fact that protests have been held in Kuantan. And that these protestors walked from Kuantan. And that Kuala Lumpur is the capital of the country.

But the most vocal criticism of the anti-Lynas movement is that it is politically-motivated. Those who make this assertion rely on a couple of reasons.

Firstly, the fact that opposition politicians participate in some of the rallies and have voice anti-Lynas sentiments. This is obviously a flimsy reason. Instead of addressing the issue, the critics harp on the fact that opposition politicians have been seen at the rallies. His Supreme Eminenceness’ response to this is a big “so what?”

Does the fact that opposition politicians attend anti-Lynas rallies mean that the cause is immediately disqualified from being legitimate? What rubbish. This is clearly the sentiment of people who are not used to democratic expression. The views of an individual politician should not necessarily reflect the view of the political party in general.

And perhaps, just perhaps, people are capable of forming opinions on matters because of principle, or deliberation, or logic, or what’s right and wrong, rather than just politics. Maybe?

The second reason is obviously the fact that the government supports Lynas, therefore anyone who criticises Lynas has an anti-government motive with the obvious intention of toppling the government and installing Pakatan Rakyat to rule the country. Again, this is a reasoning borne out of the toxic atmosphere of blind partisanship that seems to have taken root in any discourse in Malaysia. Politics has seeped into every nook, cranny and orifice of this country.

The sooner the elections are called and over and done with, the better. Perhaps then people would stop being so suspicious and cautious about losing or gaining points for their beloved political parties and start using their brains and considering the real issues instead.

The Bungholio

Lord Bobo, I’m genuinely surprised that you have not commented on the recent philosophical musings of Nazri Aziz and Bung Mokhtar. You’re not going soft on us, are you? (Politico, via email)

Lord Bobo is most certainly not going soft.

But what is there to say about Nazri Aziz and Bung Mokhtar, or any Malaysian politician for that matter? The daily news reads like a comedy script, and the jokes write themselves.

Shahrizat Jalil is warning people that if BN lose the elections, there may be another May 13. Is it Groundhog Day, again, and again?

Even Khairy Jamaluddin is coming up with some good stuff this week. He said “the young generation is not easily influenced by foreign elements including those who want to topple the Government… we engage the young generation and understand their soul and fulfill their aspiration”. What does that even mean? Does it even mean anything? Perhaps there’s an Oxford-grade subliminal message in there that His Supreme Eminenceness isn’t qualified to decipher.

But of course the recent sensation is all down to the effing and jeffing Lord of Kinabatangan, Bung Mokhtar. Fresh from calling Tony Fernandes a thief for wanting to run a profitable business, and then swearing at all and sundry who dared question him on Twitter, his royal Bungness responded to the proposal to ban parliamentarians from making sexist remarks during debates with the following: “This suggestion is good but in my view a sexist statement arises because of the attitude of some MPs who like to spark provocation. When there is provocation, therefore those unhealthy words will come out.” Lord Bobo does not need to comment on such statements. We will leave the Bungholio to it. What more could we add?

And as for Nazri Aziz, well, his rant about Hummers, Michael Chia and the sex lives of himself and his son are not fit to be reprinted in these esteemed pages. Some rubbish just needs to be left in a vacuum and not repeated – much like the vacuum between a couple of ears really.

Two gentlemen who are not peeling each other's bananas.

Lord Bobo, I’ve noticed that you very regularly say nasty things about mainstream newspapers, particularly The Star. Do you not realise that The Star is controlled by MCA? If I own a newspaper, surely I should be allowed to dictate to some extent what news the newspaper chooses to publish and place prominence on. Similarly, LoyarBurok also chooses certain issues to focus on. What’s wrong with that? (Realist, via email)

You obviously have not been paying attention.

Lord Bobo has no problem with newspaper owners exerting some influence on what their newspapers published. The problem is that the ownership of newspapers is restricted, and only pro-government parties seem to be allowed to have printing licences. Allow the free expression of views, regardless of whether it is pro or anti anyone, and then we will truly see a reliable mainstream media.

As for LoyarBurok, we do not “choose” any issues to focus on. We are open to all. We have been accused of being pro-government and anti-government.

If you have a view, on any matter, and on any side, write for us. We will publish it.

Don’t believe us? Try us.

Details at

Your life will never be the same.

Have a question for Lord Bobo? Call on His Supreme Eminenceness by emailing [email protected], stating your full name, and a pseudonym (if you want), or tweeting your questions by mentioning @LoyarBurok and using the hashtag #asklordbobo. What the hell are you waiting for? Hear This, and Tremblingly Obey (although trembling is optional if you are somewhere very warm)! Liberavi Animam Meam! I Have Freed My Spirit!

You can read archives of all the Ask Lord Bobo columns by clicking here. These are the divinely-inspired words of His Supreme Eminenceness Lord Bobo Barnabus PhD SP GBE OMGWTFBBQ.

Ask Lord Bobo is a weekly column by LoyarBurok where all your profound, abstruse, erudite, hermetic, recondite, sagacious, and other thesaurus-described queries are answered! It is the ONLY place that...