While Warlocks Watched

Sleazy, Sneaky and Slimy (source: http://iamyouasheisme.wordpress.com/)

Sleazy, Sneaky and Slimy (source: http://iamyouasheisme.wordpress.com/)

A man most watched, lost his watch. What a lumbering idiot he must be. Oh Woe! Anyway, there was a plot to be had. A scandal that would stagger all of humanity. Ah, a much welcomed respite from scrupulous governance and principled politics. And so it seems an erstwhile deputy prime minister had sauntered into an establishment, executed plentiful coitus with an international service provider in a state of undress, and then in an apparent rush, left his time-telling device behind. The pugilist politician, short of time, swiftly commissioned his trusted squire to retrieve this “eggish” timepiece. And as the room was rummaged for this necessary accessory, a revelation was revealed.

So aghast was our intrepid hero by the ungodly deeds of the powerless politician, that he hurriedly approached two members of his male-pattern baldness support group to form a triumvirate of honour. With expressions not unlike the gingerbread man, they slithered out of their pantheon to proclaim the plugged politicians perversions. They poured scorn on the sinner and portrayed themselves to be pious preachers,  never to have made adulterated visits to the sacred temples of womanhood.

While some were regrettably enthralled by the tapeworm threesome, it had become damningly apparent that the ringleaders of the regime had yet again reared their ugly heads. You see, the domicile of domination was seething with malcontent. Living off the fat of the land was not fulfilling enough. The bane of their existence, this perilous politician, headed a mob that fought for, of all things, justice. And the proletariats loved it. How absurd! THIS MADNESS MUST CEASE!!

Hence, together, they schemed, they scripted and they scammed. They created cinematic copulation, choreographed to cause chaos and convulsion.  But while the film noir allegedly exhibited the thespians’ skills of potent manliness, it did nothing to hide his obvious love for starchy foods.  A quick check with an abacus exposed a faulty timeline. Thus much like their hair, the plot thinned! So nonsensical was the tale that gales of dizzy laughter were all it provoked.

Having failed to elicit national outrage, they so grandly attempted to create marital strife. But the pitiable politicians’ wife was no mirthless woman. She reacted with such grace and aplomb in the face of lecherous lies, that her conceited cow of a counterpart must have massacred seven Mongolians out of sheer rage.  Oh how they’ll rue the day they ever went there!

So while a fully infected abscess continues to rule this nation, I urge its people to assist them in getting down before they get thrown off that incredibly high horse. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. But you’ve never ever been able to fool me, you blundering fools! For shame! You best be returning that knife to its sheath!

Shenaaz Khan is still mourning the death of Rob Pilatus. For those of you with no taste, he’s the handsome half of Milli Vanilli.


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Posts by Shenaaz Khan

Posted on 6 April 2011. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.

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3 Responses to While Warlocks Watched

  1. Mel

    LOL! PA PA PA PA PA PPA BABY! DONT FORGET MY NUMBER!Didnt even know he was dead!

  2. Jimmy

    I really enjoyed reading this. Short and to the point and you managed to not mention a single person by name!

    My 3 favourite parts

    1. "male-pattern baldness support group"

    2. "But while the film noir allegedly exhibited the thespians’ skills of potent manliness, it did nothing to hide his obvious love for starchy foods"

    3."her conceited cow of a counterpart must have massacred seven Mongolians out of sheer rage"

  3. @Shenaaz Khan

    For your language skill in allegory not abundantly clear, at least you are able and tried. A rewrite in a simpler form if possible?

    Do you believe in the end of APARTHEID? Then step forth as a candidate in your constituency and grant the end of PR’s nepotism and alignment with PAP-USA-NWO-Zion and also grant the end of BN’s APARTHEID and corruption.

    Meanwhile, are there any simple antidotes to the abcess you mention for any infected?