You Don’t Know Shit! #LoyarBogel

LoyarBogel on how clients expect lawyers to know everything. Like, e-ve-ry-thing.

As a lawyer, you are expected to know your shit.

When I say know your shit — I really mean know your shit. Not only your own shit, but preferably other profession’s shit as well.

People expect you to know why the sky is blue. Or why the chicken crossed the road. Or what happens when your chicken gets raped. WHO IS LIABLE? WHO SHALL PAY FOR THE MAINTENANCE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED CHICKEN AND ITS CHICKS!? WHO!?


LoyarBogel: *explains the usual Schedule H of the Housing Development Act* So vacant possession will be delivered to you in…

Prof. X: So, the bricks what colour ah?

LoyarBogel: Err… bricks?

Prof. X: Yah. Red or white ah?

LoyarBogel: … okay, I am not sure. You have to check with the developer about that.

Prof. X: Oh. So the throw rubbish one where ah?

LoyarBogel: Here. *points out location in layout plan*

Prof. X: Har. So near my unit (it was actually four blocks away from his unit). Later smelly how?

LoyarBogel: Err… you can bring it up to your JMB and ask them to clean it up.

Prof. X: So. If my unit catches fire, how?

LoyarBogel: Catches fire due to…?

Prof. X: Don’t know wor. For example if like the developer sets it on fire. How ah?


(Note: The above conversation is an exact reproduction of a conversation I had with my client, with no exaggeration whatsoever.)

And after that the conversation stopped making any more sense.

It was just another one of those days where my clients make me feel like I have no reason to live anymore.

I spent two hours answering his questions that day. After which he went on to conveniently ask me for some unrelated legal advice.

And after which he ended our appointment by asking for a discount — on his stamp duty.

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Posts by Loyar Bogel

LoyarBogel is 32/m/kl. He enjoys cycling and reading. He also... no wait. LoyarBogel is a lady. She has been in the legal field for about three years now. Or has it been nine? Confused? Me too. LoyarBogel will be exposing the naked bits (some sexy, some not-at-all-sexy) under the veneer of legal practice. And that's about all you'll need to know.

Posted on 19 February 2014. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.

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6 Responses to You Don’t Know Shit! #LoyarBogel

  1. pseudonymwho

    Aww Thanks for your concern nmmmmmm! But my intention WAS for it to be irrelevant and inappropriate. So I'm glad I achieved that! #successkid.jpeg

  2. nmmmmmm

    loyerbo*** please find a better nickname which is relevant oh no, which is appropriate with your profession.

  3. Pepper Lim


  4. Pipsqueaks

    Such incredulous Q&A sessions are uncommon these days from inelegant clients. After a pre-trial conference for a construction dispute, a client's employee asked me to "check" his sister's divorce petition and advise if his sister is prejudiced in any manner. I had to tell him repeatedly that his sister is not my client hence I am not in any position whatsoever to even peep at the divorce petition that he's shoving before my face.