The first-ever post in the LoyarBermakan food review series visits the home of the famous, scandalously-good, P7 pork burger.

To be perfectly honest, this wasn’t supposed to be the first-ever LoyarBermakan food review. That meal had taken place a few nights prior to this one, in Central Market (you will read about it soon — the review team for that one are still crying over missing out on the meal you’re about to read about). This meal was just supposed to be a few guys getting together to indulge in the consumption of some good food.

And, damn, the food here is seriously good.

When it was suggested that we convert our foodie indulgence into a food review assignment, there was some debate — do we really want to proclaim the awesomeness of this place on the blawg? It might become femes and lose its cosiness, its charm… we might start having to queue to get in! But, borrowing some of Lord Bobo’s renowned munificence, we relented.

No one took notes of course. We were too busy eating (though King Chai did manage to take some photos).

The sign that signals the doorway to pork-burger heaven. | Credit: King Chai
The sign that signals the doorway to pork-burger heaven. | Credit: King Chai

Located in the new Petaling Jaya commercial area, within the nooks and crannies of Avenue 8, Cristang is genuinely a hidden gem of a restaurant. According to Gerald, the owner and Head Chef, the name was originally intended to be spelt Kris tao, a Portuguese word pronounced as “Kris-tang”. Thankfully, they decided on “Cristang” to reduce any confusion which might distract from the sheer brilliance of the food on the menu.

In terms of ambience, with low-lighting and comfortable, no-pretenses decor and furniture, Cristang is suitable for anyone from lovebirds looking for a romantic dinner, groups of old friends, high-flying professionals hosting business meetings, families with young children, and even the occasional bunch of LoyarBurokkers.

No discipline, so on to the starters!

The problem with meeting up with a group that contains a bunch of lawyers is, there are bound to be late-comers. Especially if there are litigators involved. No discipline. True to form, a few of us were on time, and waiting (for the record — Richard, King Chai, Raymond, Foong, and Marcus). We weren’t too upset, as  it gave us the chance to share a couple of starters.

First up was the nasi lemak goreng. No, you did not read that wrong. Fried nasi lemak. It is basically nasi lemak fried with lapcheong (Chinese pork sausage) and bacon. How good was it?

It was so good that the designated photographer, King Chai, went for his spoon before his camera.

A blur of six (Ric used two!) spoons later, it was gone.

King Chai was a bit more disciplined with the next starter, the mashed potatoes, and managed to snap a picture. Ric (a regular) introduced the dish by saying: “Try this, it is to die for.” For once, he wasn’t exaggerating. Boasting a texture with the right balance of smoothness and lumpiness, with a sauce that wasn’t overly-salted, the mash avoided the usual trappings of mash potato dishes. The potatoes are infused with cream cheese, and topped with crispy bacon, caramelised onions, and cream sauce.

Sumptuous mashed potatoes. | Credit: King Chai
Sumptuous mashed potatoes. | Credit: King Chai

The main event — pork burger heaven

After Aston, Yip, and Leesh turned up, it was finally time for the pork burgers!

There are several variants of pork burgers available here — numbered upwards from P1. The numbers actually denote the number of main ingredients (or rather components) contained within each burger. All of them contain a pork patty which is cooked to perfection upon ordering. Which one you choose depends entirely on how adventurous you’re feeling at the time.

Feeling conservative? P1 is a straight-up 100% pork patty slapped between two very nicely toasted buns. In a daredevil mood? Ask Gerald for the pork burgers which aren’t on the menu!

There is also a Korean-style pork burger — the patty is marinated in bulgogi sauce and served with home-made kimchi.

The legendary P7 has seven ingredients, including chilli con carne, bacon, and shredded petai. One wouldn’t think that petai would go well with a burger. You have to try it for yourself. Order. Cut. Chew. Taste. Swallow. And free your spirit.

If Lord Bobo was a chef, his restaurant would definitely serve the P7 Pork Burger.

As if that wasn’t enough, the pork burgers come with home-made potato wedges deep fried with lard. Oh yes.

The legendary P7 pork burger. | Credit: King Chai
The legendary P7 pork burger. | Credit: King Chai
Be cool. Do. Not. Drool. | Credit: King Chai
Be cool. Do. Not. Drool. | Credit: King Chai

Ending with a bang (or dessert)

The Cristang experience doesn’t end with the pork burgers. Gerald has a selection of excellent desserts. We tried the Oreo Ice Cream and Fried Butter Cake (butter cake fried with extra butter, and topped off with home-made ice-cream), and both were very good.

We’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

O-o-o-re-o; the white stuff! | Credit: King Chai
O-o-o-re-o; the white stuff! | Credit: King Chai
Fried butter cake with ice cream. JyeaH! | Credit: King Chai
Fried butter cake with ice cream. JyeaH! | Credit: King Chai

If you haven’t already realised, Cristang gets the LoyarBurok seal of approval. And hey, it helps that Gerald revealed he reads the blawg!

There’s lots of other good stuff on the menu which we didn’t cover in this review — if you need help choosing, just ask Gerald, who will be more than happy to recommend some amazing dishes. Some dishes we would recommend from our previous visits are the Devil on Horseback (asparagus wrapped in bacon), Portuguese baked fish, and banana crepes with chocolate sauce. Gerald experiments with new dishes all the time, so if you’re lucky he will let you try some “off menu” items!

And when you drop by, check out the Lord Bobo sticker on the front window, which was proudly put up by Gerald himself! And don’t forget to tell Gerald that you read about this place on LoyarBurok to bring a smile to his face!

Owner and head-chef Gerald, admiring Lord Bobo. | Credit: King Chai
Owner and head-chef Gerald, admiring Lord Bobo. | Credit: King Chai
The official LoyarBermakan seal of approval! | Credit: King Chai
The official LoyarBermakan seal of approval! | Credit: King Chai

We’ll leave you with some concluding quotes from the review team.

“Undoubtedly the best pork burgers in town.

The nasi lemak goreng (fried nasi lemak) is also a must-try.”

(Leesh)

“Mouthwatering! Delicious! Cosy!

Probably the best pork burger LoyarBurok will ever taste.”

(Ric)

“No woman, no cry.

Just give me petai.”

(Marcus)

“The legendary P7 pork burger. It’s the best.”

(King Chai)

“Cristang’s pork burger is the key to World Peace.

It has an awesome taste which all Nations, irrespective of ideology, can agree to.

A hearty portion that could serve an entire African village, at a price that wouldn’t necessarily cause a race riot.”

(Aston)

Details

Jalan Sungai Jernih 8/1

Seksyen 8, 46050 PJ, Selangor

(map)

Tel. 03 7956 7877

Open Tuesdays to Sundays, 11am to 3pm / 5.30pm to 11pm

Closed on Mondays

This review was jointly-written by King Chai Woon, Marcus van Geyzel, and Xiaoheng Yip. They’re still smiling.

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7 replies on “LoyarBermakan: Cristang: Pork Burger Heaven”

  1. king david…i really wonder whether you're a real muslim. you can even spell "Allah is Great" right..oh well.

  2. food is food..even d muslim during hard times, pork is permitted…so fuck them.. food..is food..shame on those muslim whom consume pork n wine while oversea… fuck u…i'm muslim btw..i just hate our stupid muslims whom can't see beyond this light..allu akbhar

  3. Balik-balik babi! Balik-balik babi! Balik-balik babi! Balik-balik babi! Balik-balik babi!

    Takde benda lain ke yang sedap dimakan?

    Kah kah kah.

    #HarussaniDoesntApprove

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