10 Things: I Discovered About Malaysians With Google

What are Malaysian netizens thinking in general? What do we want? Are we happy as individuals and couples? Do we really love our country? Jonathan takes a look into 10 interesting social discoveries with regards to the curiosity, prosperity and even matrimonial bliss of Malaysians at large, using the power of Google search suggestions.

If you recently paid attention while typing your search keywords on Google, you will discover that Google will generate a drop down list of search suggestions, arranged in an order based on the frequency of the keywords being searched.

Playing around with a few questioning phrases, I discovered a couple of things which I feel could reflect on the sentiments and desires of netizens in Malaysia. I did all these searches on the 10 November 2010 at 6.45p.m.

Here’s 10 social discoveries about Malaysians I find most interesting from Google.com.my. Of course, the search suggestions listed here can never be definitive, but it may well raise our awareness on what generally Malaysians are interested to find out on the internet.

So here it goes.

1. Who is…

My first curiosity would be find out who would Malaysians generally look for most. With all these political news, scandals, and conspiracies going on, I was expecting to find names like Saiful or Azmin Ali or Zaid Ibrahim to surface. Instead, I got this.

It turns out, Maher Zain, a spiritual Nasheed singer from Lebanon, is on the top of the list. Following Maher Zain is our local heartthrob Mizz Nina, the songstress who sang What You Waiting For. It was also discovered that Malaysians are generally into Justin Bieber (God knows why) and I suspect a good amount of gossip and tabloid fans are also trying to research on Jho Low, the rich bugger who managed to date Paris Hilton (Urgh).

Next I tried to find out what Malaysians are generally searching for in terms of instructions/methods/ways to achieve certain goals or learn how to do certain things.

2. How to…

The results indicated that Malaysians generally do not know how to make love. A considerable amount of us are also dying to delete or hack Facebook accounts. The question is, whose accounts do we want to delete or hack? Why?

3. How I can …

From the list above we can see that Malaysians are also very much inclined to changing the world, advancing in their careers, forgetting their ex’s, and getting pregnant fast.

The search suggestion of “How I can get pregnant fast” led me to an idea of trying to search for what couples are thinking. The next four questions will reveal some subtle yet profound results.

4. How to get my boyfriend to …

So what does this tell us? That a lot of Malaysian women are tired of waiting for their boyfriends to propose, or do they generally feel that Malaysian men are cold and unromantic? Another surprise discovery was that there was also a response in which women are trying to find ways for their boyfriends to breakup with them. I wonder why.

Let us know take a look at the men’s perspectives.

5. How to get my girlfriend to …

In my opinion, Malaysians boyfriends are generally not getting enough kisses from their partners these days. And most think their girlfriends are fat. Another thing is that Malaysian girls nowadays might be having more trust issues with their boyfriends. As expected, Malaysian men are also actively looking for ways for their girlfriends to sleep with them (kinky). Also, it can be seen that the search for ways for the other partner to break up with them works both ways, regardless of gender.

What about those who are already married? Let’s start from the wives.

6. How to get my husband to …

From this, we can see that wives may generally think that their husbands don’t love them anymore, give them little attention, reluctant to talk to them, take no notice of them, only likes to get drunk, and never like to do house chores. Gentlemen, do all these responses sound familiar to you? Or are they just nonsense?

Now the husbands’ thoughts.

7. How to get my wife to …

I was surprised!

At first I didn’t understand the word “swing” in this context, but after checking out the dictionary, this is what I got. (Read explanation No. 7)

What is going on in the minds of Malaysian men?!? From this, I reckon that though this topic has not been widely discussed, we can vouch that Malaysian men generally have an inclination towards group sex and swapping of sexual partners! (Wow!)

It can be understood also,that husbands also have the same feeling as the wives in terms of being given the cold shoulder, perhaps due to the rise of women in social stature these days. As expected, a substantial number of Malaysian men also think that their wives are fat, and on top of that, we can see that more women are smoking these days and their husbands are not very pleased about it.

The 8th search were based on my curiosity of Malaysian’s sentiments towards our own country at large.

8. Malaysia …

Malaysiatoday, Malaysiakini, The Malaysian Insider and Malaysia Airlines would be proud.

However this is not what I was actually looking for, so I tried another search question.

Malaysia is a …

What do you garner from the above responses? Does this indicate that majority of Malaysians feel that Malaysia is a failed nation?

Next, I tried to find out what ways or methods Malaysian individuals are looking for to complete certain tasks/objectives. This is what I got.

9. 100 ways to …

Not very encouraging to know that Malaysians at large are looking for more ways to die. Could it be because they didn’t know how tell their loved ones “I Love You?” Are we under a lot of stress? Feeling hopeless?

The consolation to this search however, is that many of us are also looking at ways to motivate ourselves, and that we Malaysians are getting more and more environmental conscious. A good number of us, are also looking for various ways to save tax. Money is just so hard to earn isn’t it.

10. 10 ways to …

Lastly, apart from looking for ways to reduce stress, Malaysians are also passionate in killing Osama Bin Laden (Huh?).

Maybe the US should consider looking for new recruits to the Delta Force, CIA, or FBI, right here in Malaysia.

Hey, don’t play play, we can fight well okay!

We can use C4 to whack that bugger!

Jonathan Fun is an inquisitive, community-driven Malaysian passionate about current affairs, who never fears to be vocal and supportive for the right causes in society. An engineer by profession, he loves music, travelling, fun and adventure, and finds immense joy and fulfillment in making friends and meeting new people from all walks of life. An ardent believer in moderation, he pursues balance in everything he says and touches. Follow his blog at www.jonathanfun.com and his tweets at @jonathanfun.


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Son, brother, friend, traveller, amateur photographer, scuba diver, and a palm oil mill engineer who pursues moderation in everything he says and touches. Follow his blog at www.jonathanfun.com and his tweets at @jonathanfun.

Posted on 19 November 2010. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.

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8 Responses to 10 Things: I Discovered About Malaysians With Google

  1. EL

    I loved this! I found it very amusing. I have a friend from Malaysia and I thought this was pretty cool, because I don't know much about it. But I found it a bit disturbing that they seem to have serious communication issues: how to say I love you, I miss you, sorry, and how to love a cat (LOL)Maybe that's why they want to die! JK!

  2. Jitzy

    To sum it all up: Malaysians want to know who Maher Zain is, they either want to know how to make love or how they can change the world. The girls want their boyfriends to propose, the boys want their girlfriends to kiss them, the wives want their husbands to love them again while the husbands want their wives to swing. They read Malaysia Today and think their country is a failed state, so because of that they want to know the best way to die or how they can reduce stress.

    Hmmm

  3. LN

    The 10 ways to kill Osama really got me LOL.

    Good write-up and stab at analysing Malaysians. There might be some level of accuracy in your interpretation. Although the discovery of the J.Bieber fan club (Malaysian chapter) is very disturbing.

  4. bibliobibuli

    Very interesting lists!

    But wonders – what the results would have been like if the questions had been framed more grammatically eg. "how can I …" "how do I get …"

    Probably there would be no responses because who does frame questions (especially indirect questions) correctly in this country?

  5. Dear Johnathan, hilarious and fun article and not without its truth! The search engine may just be an anthropological tool of the 21st century urbanite.

  6. Wai

    Hahaha, I like this article. I think it's pretty amusing. Btw, I believe the "ip" in "Who is ip" probably refers to Ip Man, the martial arts legend played by Donnie Yen. Either that, or it's "internet protocol" lah.

  7. teo siew chin

    jonathan – methinks u shud get out of the house more often… like maybe go to the movies or something?

  8. Pip

    Not fair, but entertaining compilation (which can be doctored to meet your agenda) *cough* ;)