Why do “principled people” partake in the senseless ritual of coercing their friend into drinking beyond his or her limits and require that he/she embarrass him/herself to “celebrate the occasion”?
Drinking alcohol is ultimately an art in itself.
It is to be able to handle your drink; to consume to be merry and yet to at all times preserve your self respect and dignity – that must never be lost and you must never encourage anyone to lose it either. Ever.
That is unfortunately not what I last night (27-8-10/28-8-10).
Let me tell you folks what I saw and let this be a very stern statement to those who took part in this embarrassing ritual of vacuity and inane idiocy; a firm declaration that no matter what great stature you think you possess, you have affixed yourself in my eyes to be of no more value than the brown stain that I bear witness to each time I graze a piece of toilet tissue through that orifice I call “my asshole.”
On the 28th of August 2010, a number of us decided that we should go out and have a drink at a local watering hole. We decided so as one of us, a girl of 24, a young practicing lawyer, was celebrating her 25th birthday. This girl is a courageous girl; bold, daring and most importantly high minded.
So we got there and we started having some drinks before the others showed up as well. The scene was mirthful with very many jokes and conversations taking place. It was as I saw it… good. I was very glad.
Most importantly, the girl seemed to be having fun and she was thankful to see that people whom she has just met in her legal career had taken the trouble to commemorate her existence. She seemed happy indeed.
Soon one member of the group decided to get her a Flaming Lamborghini. A rather heavy drink for someone who is rather young but with great intrepidity she drank it and remained utterly in tune with herself during the next hour or so.
More people came along and then came another Flaming Lamborghini; to which I was genuinely concerned. She once again stood up to the challenge, amidst much reluctance at the outset, drank it boldly. At this point I warned her: “You better not drink anything for the next half an hour.”
And then, it began. An irrational display of age old primitive Neanderthalism; male instincts thought to be extinct since 10,000 years ago reared its ugly disgusting face. It began with the scoffs by a few male members of the group: “Eh, what la you still sober?”, “You still can drink, don’t lie” and “Come on la, have another one.”
The scoffs eventually moved on to challenges: “Eh come on la, sing for us, we want to hear you sing”, “Just sing la for all of us and we will all sing together as back up singers” and “Just sing for us, we know you can sing.”
That eventually moved into taunts: “It’s either you sing, or we’ll get you more drinks”, “Come drink, drink, down it now, or else you sing” and “When you are in the profession you have to embarrass yourself at some point.”
Of course it didn’t just end there. Even the female members chipped in eventually, subjecting this girl who currently is in alcoholic stupor to more ridicule: “Don’t waste our time, you better just start singing” and “What are you waiting for, just sing la. Why so lame?”
My reluctance to participate in this charade of senselessness was actually met with disapproval; one of them gave me a look of utter disgust, as if I was some outcast; because I refuse to take part in this disheartening display of insecurity, stupidity and dimwittedness – because I simply thought that such behavior was below me.
What’s even more demoralising is that as if by the mere fact that these sorry pieces of redundant protoplasm have bought a few drinks for this girl, they think that they now somehow own this girl’s existence for the night: that like a circus animal she is to bark when they required, to roll over when they demanded and to kneel before them as they commanded. That in an instant second, they had control over this girl’s life: to humiliate her, to ridicule her and to make a fool out of her.
But of course it didn’t just end there. Oh no, it didn’t. They got the whole pub riled up; they got all the other patrons of the pub cheering to the tune of: “It’s either you sing now or you get up on the table and dance.” One patron, who doesn’t even know this girl, had the nerve to say – “Yeah, I’m waiting for her to dance on the table.” The group actually laughed when the guy said it. The sinister smile on their faces was just downright nauseating and for that brief moment I regretted ever getting to know these people.
I had to look deep within me to find some of the good these people have done to be able to maintain my composure, to almost falsify my own present views that these idiots are not worthy of any respect or gratitude; that they were in all respects no different from the politicians I despise and the Royal Malaysian Police Force which I hate with a passion.
The sheer audacity of these cunts is sickening and their so called “principled stand” on life is but a farce – these people should be ashamed of themselves and the kind of “peer pressure” they have subjected this girl too is just repulsive. These people are not role models, I will never call them that from now on; these people are inspirations for what a person should never become.
Not only that, these people have taken the “fun” out of drinking. The merriment, the insights I have realised and the memorable moments I have had while drinking were in a brief second flushed into oblivion. They have turned drinking into a mace; a mace to degrade, to demean and to shame; these people have sucked the life out of a truly fruitful human activity and turned it into a pile of feces – which as I see it is in reality merely a reflection of their own state of being.
My contempt is particularly vitriolic towards this one male scumbag of the group who couldn’t help but insist that this woman do a series of shots with him; challenging her over and over again in supreme patheticness with his phony deep voice that sounds as if a donkey had filled his throat with a gallon of semen. It is people like this whose grandparents should’ve been gassed by Hitler during the Third Reich and be removed from the face of the Earth for being a life unjustifiable i.e. a complete and utter waste of space.
Leave the girl alone goddamnit! Let her be as she wants to be. Clearly she doesn’t want to and has expressed insistence towards not partaking in your miserable adventures, so just let her be. Why the need for coercion, to be forceful, to insist repeatedly that she partake in your mindless endeavors that reek of utter folly and irreverence towards your own pitiable existence.
Of course the saddest part of all of this is the fact that I work with some of these cretins on the human rights and constitutional law cases that come my way. To them I have sowed my respect for, to them I have looked for guidance, to them I have gained much knowledge but sadly in one fell swoop, they have alienated themselves from their values; they have uprooted themselves from my mind’s consideration and discarded their diseased selves into the gutter.
The “Dignity of the Individual” which they so valiantly champion is nothing more than air from an elephant’s ass; a stunning reminder that they are but no different from the demons we all want ousted from the political institutions of this country – yet another member of the unthinking herd majority.
Individuality and the Dignity of the individual are sacred. If you can violate that then no matter what habeas corpus/ISA cases you do or what media freedom cases you undertake or what religious freedom idea you believe in, it would all amount to zilch – for you’d still remain to be the same gunk that you are: that brown stain that I bear witness to each time I graze a piece of toilet tissue through that orifice I call “my asshole.”
good job…keep it up
Love the post, but your use of the word "cunts"? Unwarranted.
Dear Googs,
Thank you for the comment.
1) The Alcohol Argument
There is often times a great propensity for people to take the blame out of a human’s hand and set it upon an object. I cannot agree with that stance.
Don’t blame alcohol, blame the drinker.
I have had hundreds of sessions drinking with great company where we have discussed about some of the most mundane things like “How the weather has been?” to heavy things like “The tumultuous state of Malaysia’s race relations and the proposed remedies”; conversations which cannot possibly take place with such openness, honesty and sincerity if we hadn’t had a few drinks.
As I said, I find drinking to be a fruitful human activity. To blame the drink is to take the easy way out of things; by that line of narrow argumentation, if you think guns are the cause of death then all guns must be banned. Therefore even all military personnel must be deprived of their M-16s. And in the event we are attacked by a foreign force, we’ll all be jolly well screwed, wouldn’t we?
It is the intention of the person I am and have been concerned about, not the alcohol. The alcohol is completely innocent, it is blameless; just as much as a gun, a roulette table, a television set, the internet and a mobile phone is completely blameless. It is how you are and what you choose to do with it that creates the culpability.
Having said that, I know many Muslim friends of mine who drink alcohol. When I ask them if this is accepted by their religion, they give me a thoroughly mature answer: “I am not drinking to get intoxicated, which is what is forbidden by my religion. I am drinking purely for leisure.”
I for one, see no harm in that.
2) The Religion Issue
I do not think you actually remember correctly. I am certain I have never ridiculed Islam but I have been very quick in pointing out why I do not consider any religion, Islam or otherwise, to be complete and perfect. I do not think any human ideology might it be a political theory, sociological theory, economic theory, philosophy or religious belief can ever be perfect or complete.
The reason being, they lack considerations of time and developments in human society.
What might be acceptable in one point in time might be considered to be vile and degrading in another. I think all human ideologies suffer from that defect and it is only natural for it to be the case for the human mind only functions in accordance with present circumstances.
In that, I must conclude that nothing is permanent because everything is related. So there can never be a fixed belief or religion because everything is subject to change.
Now, you may take what I’ve just said and find it saddening when juxtaposed with your affinity to your religion but that is my opinion. I do not think it is borne out of ignorance but in fact I have put much thought into it.
Let us consider a case in point: Sodomy.
All three Abrahamic faiths have a problem with Sodomy; citing it as being against the order of Nature.
That to me makes no sense whatsoever. Nature is not immutable, it is perpetually changing; that is what drives natural selection and evolution. Now, if you’ve sat down and had a conversation with a man who calls himself a homosexual, you’d very readily notice that Sodomy isn’t a lifestyle choice, it is an innate part of that human being’s life just as much as you’d crave to have sex with someone from the opposite sex.
I would argue that that person’s very drive was sparked by Nature. So in that respect, homosexuality is every part of Nature as heterosexuality is.
Now, some Christians, Jews and Muslims may disagree with me, feel free to. You leave your arguments in the corridors of religion and belief and I’ll leave mine to scientists and geneticists. At the end of day, all I wish to see is no harm caused by the State on consenting adults engaging in sexual relations.
As a human being, reading the verses in the Hadith and Bible about the punishment that ought to be meted out to homosexuals wounds me deeply as well.
Dear Aston,
If I remember correctly (and maybe it is just me), you used to ridicule Islam in some of your previous entries on LB. As a Muslim myself, I do not deny that I am always saddened upon reading them and your vicious words have wounded me deeply. But I gathered as much that perhaps they were all borne of the bouts of ignorance which we all find ourselves in every now and again, even you, whose words and manner of language can very well imply an otherwise brilliant mind.
Having said that, here's my humble response to your entries here. As much as you may still resent to it, this great propensity for vileness is the very reason why Islam finally prohibits alcoholic drinks in (5:90) of the Quran. Indeed, the Quran does not deny the benefit in them. But the harm that alcoholic drinks bring,including and especially in terms of your horrific experience that night, is just greater than the benefit (2:219).
So perhaps the best way for us to eliminate the inevitably-ugly effects of an identifiable cause is to eliminate the cause altogether.
Just my two cents.
Gilla, A$ton made a 1 side views bro n u follow! pottymouth partypooper din asked tt gers jika she hated Lambo bjs 1st den blames other ppls n said dey coersin and violates the cb, dun menganggap tt gers tak ingin flirts OK! Liberal Banter sial !
i wish more people are as respectful and as you aston.
i agree with you when you say "Individuality and the Dignity of the individual are sacred".
where coercion exists, rights are violated, and these violations must be condemned whatever the justification.
Disgusted,
i don't get it why you are dejecting the article. you got it all wrong to be frank. the point is that drinking should not be taken as a mascarade of humiliation. it ruins the whole thing. having a good time is when couple of friends get around the table and exchange few jokes and share few stories. save the acidic tantrums. you are only degrading yourself.
Aston,
it is interesting to know you in person. i find it hard to digest the purpose of people acting vigorously idiocratic just to have "fun". i don't see any relevance of it. some people are carrying it too far. well, as life goes on, we can always bid them farewell.
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Maybe the girl wanted to have her dignity destroyed? This willingness to jump into a spiral of degradation is akin to being in an abusive relationship. you let yourself be abused. we're all sick bastards lah, the end.
Oi, u can't gas de ppl for a$$ hunting, u care so much den u shud challenged the guy to fight for the ccb.
My reluctance to participate in this charade of senselessness was actually met with disapproval; one of them gave me a look of utter disgust, as if I was some outcast; because I refuse to take part in this disheartening display of insecurity, stupidity and dimwittedness – because I simply thought that such behavior was below me.
Too proud for kelab melam isit? Stay in u country club with de pampers rich kidz if u 2 sombong. Ape brown stain orifice – u de 1st Msian who used de word online??? History sial . . .
Does a donkey really produce a gallon of semen at a time???
Wher u kept a donkey? Mungkin share ja? Popular in USA . . .
" that brown stain that I bear witness to each time I graze a piece of toilet tissue through that orifice I call “my asshole.” " TMI lah . . . lost respect 4 ur disgusted writings . . .
Any pub chix wan group bukake session after Flaming lambo? Lols!
i hv always admired aston, & now hv newfound respect for the MAN. to accidentally (or not) be in the company of fools, manchild(ren) & airheads is just something lots of us hv to put up with everyday..:p
Aston Phillip Paiva… since the day i read your name in one of those Google groups, it hit me, this name, very peculiar… it commands a certain level of respect, it suggest a level benign pride, yet noble as a river, it did intimidate me. I did grow a sense of respect for you name, never i knew you actually live up to the expectation. I salute you, and i express my respect. I humbly refer you this ;
"I understand why you're angry. But don't let that anger cause you to sin. Put away that anger quickly. Don't let evil guide your reactions."
Bible – Ephesians 4.26-27
“Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good. Conquer miserliness by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness.” Dhammapada, v. 233
Those who spend [in God's Cause] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, God loves the good doers.
Quran – Al-Imran 3:134
Aston,
Simple summary: Alcohol is bad, try not to drink it.
My summary: (sigh) … I'm happy you've had this epiphany. You are fortunate.
Jason
P.S. I do hope the girl got home safely.